Why I Share My Abortion Story?

It was a typical day.  I opened my email.  Inside was an email from someone who had found my blog and read my story.

Her words conveyed desperation.  She had also chose an abortion.  She longed for healing, but hopelessness dripped off her fingers as she expressed her pain and regret through words on a screen.

We spoke on the phone that day.  I pray the words the Lord gave me pumped hope into her hopelessness.  It was a divine connection.  God had ordained every word spoken or typed.  I pray she saw how intricately His loving hand was involved in her life.  God was reaching out to her to begin her healing journey.  This is our God.  This is our Father.  How He longs to fill us with His hope and healing and wholeness! It is up to us to take His hand.

She asked me a question that day.  She actually asked me many questions that day.  The Holy Spirit guided me in every answer.  The questions were good.  This question was good...

"Why do you share your story?"  

The words lingered in the air for only a brief second as I thought about this verse..."Always be ready to give a reason for the hope that you have." (1 Peter 3:15)

"Why do I share my story?"

What a fabulous question!  The answer surprising rolled right off my tongue as if I had rehearsed it over and over again...

My passion is to see women and men set free from the bondage of the sin of abortion or any sin for that matter.  I want to see my brothers and sisters in Christ living in freedom!  The enemy lies and tries to tie our identity to an event or a situation and straps us down with condemnation, guilt, and shame.  He lies to us about who we are and it makes me plum mad!  My heart is to see those wounded by abortion set free to be a voice of truth to spread light on the harsh reality of the destruction it does to women, men, and families.  It not only ends the life of a living child with a heartbeat, it damages the heart of those who make that choice in ways that globally effect their lives. Abortion hinders marriages, mothering, fathering, and other relationships.  

The enemy's plan is to keep God's people locked up in silent defeat bound in chains that keep them from fulfilling all God called them to do.  The enemy doesn't even have to do much to accomplish his goal.  He just needs to get God's people to agree with the lie and they will keep themselves locked in chains.

God says in His Word, "And you will know the truth and the Truth will set you free." John 8:32

I share my story to share the truth that God not only forgives all sin, He removes all sin (Ps 103:12).  I am not identified by what I have done or not done.  I am identified as a child of the Most High God.  I am His beloved.  I am His handiwork created in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:10).  I am the righteousness of God in Christ (Rom 3:22), a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17).

The truth needs to be told.  The more voices declaring the truth of the gospel and grace, the more free God's people will be, which will lead to more truth of the gospel and grace.  It is a beautiful cycle!

And the more voices spreading the truth of abortion, the more hope we have for this atrocity to end and those wounded to find healing and freedom, which in turn leads back to spreading of Jesus's love and grace.

The cycle of freedom can be compounding!  The possibilities are truly overwhelming when one grasps its gravity.

We need your voice.  Will you share your story?  It might be scary at first.  But then, it isn't.
And the more you share, the freer you become and the more freedom wins and the enemy is
defeated.

"And they overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony." Rev 12:11  

You can start here.  Email me.  Comment.  Take a breath.  Then, take a step.

There is freedom and healing.  Your sin is not your identity.  It is not who you are.  You are His.

You are why I share my story.



(For more information on healing the abortion wounded heart, feel free to contact me or you can go to www.godeeperstill.org)  

What if I Pray and Nothing Happens?

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart."  Psalm 37:4

My 9 year old son lay in bed under his worn from lots of love "Cars" themed comforter.  I knelt beside his bed, as I do just about every night, and asked him if he wanted to pray about anything. Immediately the tears formed.

I inquired lovingly, "Why are you crying?  Is something wrong?"

Through sniffles, he said, "I want to pray about something but I don't think I should. I don't think it will happen. And you and God won't think it is important."

I patiently insisted that nothing is too small to pray about in God's eyes and He wants us to pray about everything. He still was sure his request was not worthy of God's time.  He was even embarrassed to tell me.

Finally, he relinquished and with a deep breath, said, "I REALLY want that Lego set.  You know, the one that is $300.  But, I know it is a lot of money and I don't think it will happen. I don't want to pray about it and it not happen."

Now, one might think he was acting in manipulation with the tears and pleas for the Lego set. However, I know my son and this was no act.  Besides all that doesn't work with me and he knows it.  $300 is still $300.

I understood my son's hesitancy.  How many times have I thought the same...What if I pray about it and it doesn't happen?  I don't want to pray about it and it not happen.  Isn't it better if I just don't pray about it then?  

Guilty.

I shared Psalm 37:4 with my son..."Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

However, this verse, requires an explanation, which I also willingly expounded.

The beautiful part about this verse is that when we are truly delighting ourselves in the Lord, the desires of our heart will line up with the Lord's desires.  Our will becomes His will as we are in His Word and delighting ourselves in Him.

When we are not delighting ourselves in the Lord, often our desires are very self centered and can become idols.  When our desires are bordering on idols, we can be certain the Lord will not grant that request.  His answer will be a loving "no" every time.  A baby might want to play with a rattle snake awfully bad, however, a loving mother won't give it to him!  She knows it will hurt him!

As our hearts change and line up with His, then the Lord does give us the desires of our hearts.  He can because as our hearts line up, our desires also will line up.  We may find the desires we once had have faded away and been replaced with new.

As I was writing Psalm 37:4, the word "also" caught my eye and I was curious about what the first part said.

I found the answer in the verse above.  Together, they read like this...

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."  Psalms 37:3-4 [emphasis added]

Trust in the Lord. 

When we are trusting in the Lord, we are confident that He has our best interests at heart.  Even when we don't see the answer right away.

Even in the struggle, will you delight yourself in Him?  Even in the struggle, will you trust in the Lord?  Will you trust that He is faithful?  Will you continue to "do good" and love others even in the midst of being Lego-less?

His answer is coming.  He is never late.  He is always faithful.

When we don't pray because we are afraid it won't happen, we are really saying, "God, I don't trust you."  A better stance is to pray with the posture...God, I really want this, but You Lord know what is best and I trust you.  

When you are trusting in the Lord and your heart is in line with the Lord's, you can be certain that your requests are heard and will come to pass if it is best.  God always wants His best for His children, just as we want what is best for ours.

From something as small as Legos to as big as matters of life, God hears your every cry.  He is faithful.  Trust in Him.  Delight yourself in Him.  He will give you the desires of your heart.

My Word for 2015

For the past few years, I have been asking the Lord for a word to represent each new year.  I first heard of this through being involved with Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies (which ROCK, by the way!).

In 2013, the Lord gave me the word Newness.  And BOY! Did that ever describe 2013!  The following posts share a little of how the Lord brought newness that year...

http://www.livingfreeinhim.blogspot.com/2013/11/god-what-are-you-doing.html

http://www.livingfreeinhim.blogspot.com/2014/01/continued-newness.html

In 2014, the Lord gave me the word Boldness.  In many way, I have seen the Lord manifest more boldness in me over the past year, which I may share at another time.

In December, I began to ask the Lord for a word for 2015.  Almost immediately, I heard the word, "Light".

At first, I thought this meant simply the Lord wanted me to be more of a light and shine more of His light.  However, over the past few weeks, I feel there is more to this word than I initially sensed.

Light can be used in many ways.  In fact, Merriam-Webster has fifteen different definitions for the word light!  But, I am less interested in Webster and more interested in the Creator of Webster for defining light.

The Lord uses the word "light" in many ways in His Word.

One way the Lord uses the word "light" is to contrast the darkness.  Darkness is...well...dark.  In the darkness, it is hard to see.  In the darkness, we stumble.  In the darkness, we are blind.

"If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice truth.  But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His son cleanses us form all sin."  1 John 1:6-7

To walk in darkness is to walk in continuous habitual sin, or keep sin hidden from God.  Please don't misunderstand.  We cannot hide our sin from God.  God knows about it already.  However, there are times that perhaps we, like Adam, try to cover up our sin with leaves and pretend there is nothing wrong (Gen 3:8).  

The good news is though that if we walk in the light, that is if we stop a habitual sin and then confess it to the Lord, then we can again have fellowship with Him and others.  It is hard to have real fellowship with other believers when one is hiding under leaves.

I don't think I was living in habitual sin, but as I mentioned in Shoot the Foxes, the foxes of compromise are sneaky and can creep in gradually.  I want light to illuminate any foxes I might need to shoot.

"He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light." Job 12:22

There are things hidden in the deep.  The Lord spoke to me one time about the things hidden in the deep places.  He took me visually down into the depths of the ocean where there are creatures lurking that cannot be seen from the surface.  There are living forces in the depths that are unknown to us.
They are unknown because they are in the dark and cannot be seen unless special equipment is used. They are unreachable due to their depths.  Even though cannot see them, they still effect the total ecosystem and the surface we can see.

Inside our depths are things that are hiding.  We cannot see them, but they effect the things on the surface.  We are unable to get to those deep places.  In fact, it is safe for us to go there.  But, the Lord can.  He reveals the hidden things kept in darkness and brings them into the light.

He reveals not to condemn, but to restore.  

"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give the light of knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ." 2 Cor 4:6

When we asked Jesus to be Lord of our life and invited Him into our heart, His light was implanted in us.  We don't have to strive to get His light.  We don't have to confess we are the light so many times a day.  We don't have to muster up faith to believe we are a light.  We just need to stay plugged into the Light source for His light to shine through us.  Just abide in Him.

The Lord usually surprises me and has much more in store than I can know.  For now, though, I  think the word "light" for me this year partly means:

 1.  The Lord is going to take me deeper in Him and reveal even more things hidden and bring them into the light and restore. 

2.  The Lord is going to help me be more of a light to others. (Please Lord!)

If you haven't asked the Lord for a word for 2015, it is not too late!!  I encourage you to get alone with Him and your journal and ask.  He has a plan and a journey for you this year that you don't want to miss!

Additional verses:

"The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. "John 1:9

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light."  Eph 5:8


Reflection questions:

1. What does it mean to you to walk in darkness?

2. Are you willing to go deeper with the Lord this year?  Are you afraid of the deep? Do you believe the Lord can restore?