But God, I Don't Feel Like Praising!

In October , it had been six months since my husband found out he was being laid off.  Six months of looking, sending out resumes, and interviews and still nothing secured.   Thankfully, he was given a severance package that went through the end of October.   But now it was the third week in October and still nothing was certain. 

Fear began to grip my heart.  I thought to myself, “God knows we have three kids in private school.  He knows we have a mortgage.  God knows all of our needs.  I know He is always faithful and always on time.”  But, I have to admit I thought He was cutting it awfully close this time.  I knew His Word said to be anxious for nothing and for all six months, I had trusted Him to come through and was filled with faith.  However, fear began to creep in as the days grew closer.

When I went to church that crisp October morning, I didn’t feel like singing and I didn’t feel like praising.  Darkness loomed over me.  I just wanted to cry and bury myself in pity.  However, as the music started, I felt a tug at my heart.  “Offer a sacrifice of praise.”

“Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, this is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.”  Hebrews 13:15

As I sang not only with my lips, but with my heart giving praise to God for all He has done and all His goodness and glory, a strange phenomenon occurred—the darkness began to disappear, my heart became lighter and joy began to fill me.

 

“And when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the sons of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated.”  2 Chronicles 20:22

Praising pushes back the darkness and allows God to move against the enemy on our behalf.

 

After offering up my sacrifice of praise, I went down to the alter for prayer.  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known unto God and the peace of God, which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

During prayer, I immediately felt at peace and a knowing that God was taking care of everything concerning me.  That week, my husband was presented an offer.  His severance ended October 31 and his contract was finalized November 1 and he started November 4^th.  Praise be to God!

But, I wonder…What if I hadn’t offered up the sacrifice of praise?  What if I had continued instead to wallow in self-pity and given myself over to fear?  What if I had chosen not to focus on the Lord’s  goodness and faithfulness that morning?  What if the darkness had not been pushed back by praise? What if I would have allowed worry to overshadow my worship?

I don’t have all the answers to those questions, but I do know that something happens in the spiritual realm when we choose to worship even when our flesh wants to wallow.  

When we praise in the midst of trials, we are declaring our trust and faith in God.  Trust and worship go hand in hand.  I don't know what you have been facing.  It may seem insurmountable, but it is nothing compared to the greatness of our God.  Trust Him.  Praise Him.  The darkness will lift, joy will enter and He will move mountains for you.  

Power Verses:  

Isaiah 61:3a "To grant to those who mourn in Zion--to give them an ornament of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit."   

2 Samuel 22:29-31 "For You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord shall enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run against a troop; By my God I can leap over a wall.  As for God, His way is perfect.  The word of the Lord is proven.  He is a shield to all who trust in Him." 

I Have Learned...

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:11-13

Merriam-Webster defines "content" as being pleased and satisfied : not needing more

"Not needing more."  Those three words sound so beautiful to me.  We live in a have more, be more, obtain more, live more, achieve more kind of world.   

What if we truly could be content no matter what our circumstances?  Paul had been in and out of prison, shipwrecked three times, beaten with rods, and stoned. Plus, he suffered weariness and sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, many perils, cold and nakedness all for the cause of Christ (2 Corinthians 11:23-27).

Yet, he learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Notice he said, "I have learned".  Paul is often put up on a pedestal (rightly so) for his faith and contentment, but these three little words give me hope.  These three words, "I have learned" imply that Paul did not automatically have joy and contentment in all his circumstances.  How then, did he learn an attitude of contentment in "whatever"?

He learned through enduring.

Paul wrote this letter proclaiming his astonishing ability of contentment approximately around 61 A.D.
Let's fast forward 1942 years....to 2003.

I was not in prison and certainly not shipwrecked.  Nope, no one had ever tried to stone me.  I may not have had the best wardrobe, but I was far from naked or cold.  I might had been a bit weary and sleepless since I had a six month old.  However,  I'm not sure sleeplessness alone would account for my poor and discontented attitude. 

I desperately wanted to be a stay-at-home mom to my six month old son, Joe.  I was only working two days a week.  One would think I would have been thankful to be at home most of the time.  I was not.  All I could think of was what I did not have and the time I was not at home.

God knew my heart needed an overhaul.  I may not have been shipwrecked, but God was about to toss me into a sea of despondency where desperation would force me to cling to Him as my only raft of contentment.   
My husband became unemployed.  I went from having to work part-time to full-time.  My dream of being a stay-at-home mom would have to be postponed.  My husband and I both assumed he would find a job quickly.  Months passed...nothing.  Six months passed...nothing.  How is it that a talented young man that had companies beating down his door just a few years prior could not find anything? My heart ached.  Why was this happening?  I was not content. I was angry!  I was angry at my husband.  I was angry at God.  I was angry at myself.  I was angry at sister so and so who got to be a stay at home mom.  I was angry at... pretty much everyone.

Then God started working.  He is so good to not let us stay in our sin.  He showed me where I had treated others wrong.  He began to show me where I had not been walking in love with people at my job and my wrong attitude towards my husband.  He revealed the covetousness and jealousy in my heart.  He showed me where I had been bitter, ungrateful and judgmental.    

Faith works by love.  If we aren't walking in love, we hinder our faith and prayers.  Yes, God wanted me to be able to stay-at-home with Joe.  He wanted to give me the desires of my heart.  However, more than grant the desires of my heart, God wanted to change my heart.  God cares more about the condition of our heart than the comfort of our circumstances.  

He slowly changed my heart.  As He did, I began to become content with my circumstances. I began to be thankful for my job.  I was thankful my husband could be home to have time with Joe.  I stopped looking at what I did not have and focused on the Lord, what He was doing, and my many blessings.  I began praising and being full of joy. 

As my heart changed, God began to speak to me when I gently asked him "Why am I still having to work full-time? and When will Chris find a job?  God, your Word says, 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.'  You know my heart's desire is to be home with Joe."

He would answer softly, "Do you trust Me?"  to which I learned to simple respond, "Yes Lord."

It took Chris one and half years to find a job.  In reality, it took one of half years to complete the heart surgery to circumcise all the wrong attitudes God needed to cut away.  After Chris found a job, I only had to work two days a week.  This time I was EXTREMELY thankful I was home with my two year old son the other three days a week.  Not only did I get to stay home with my son, Joe, but I was able to stay home for the next 8 years with Luke and Sarah.  God was so faithful to answer my prayer.  As a result of having to wait for my heart's desire, I appreciated every moment I was able to be at home with my children.

Trials birth training.  Paul said he learned to be content. I would say a main truth learned through enduring the above trial is:

Contentment is not a destination, it is a decision.

Contentment is not a destination, it is a decision.  Like Paul, we too can learn to be content in whatever the circumstances because we can indeed do all things through Christ who gives us strength.    

Magical to Mundane

Last week was wonderful. Chris' father treated us and Chris' brother's family to a trip to Disney World.  It was a much needed and welcomed vacation.   Warm, fun, adventuresome, and even restful in the midst of Disney madness.

I have to say coming back to the routine of reality was not necessarily appealing.  The thought of driving kids to school, working, work emails, laundry, homework, driving kids to activities, etc, just made me want to turn right back around and run away to Never Land in Fantasy Land. 

Now, also mix in there the added thought of it being the holiday season and it is a recipe for being overwhelmed if a spoonful of the right attitude or sugar isn't added to help it all go down.  Sorry, I just love Disney analogies and couldn't help myself.  : )

Life is busy with three kids and I do not want to live my life dreading the inevitable everyday essentials.  Life can seem like a mundane merry-go-round at times.  However, I have to remind myself there are those that long for the mundane. 

Cancer, death of a loved one, poverty, care of elderly or the disabled, job loss, foreclosures are just some examples of what some people in the world deal with day in and out.  Probably someone you know, a close friend, or possibly you yourself are dealing with the above and would love a taste of tedious.

We just ended the weekend of Thanksgiving and officially entered into the Christmas season.  Will we carry  the heart of Thanksgiving into the end of the year and beyond?  Thankful in the midst of hustle and bustle (while trying to not have it so hustly and bustly), thankful for the mundane, thankful for the countless blessings that surround us daily...we have so many. 

This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalms 118:24
(I know you know this verse, but let us daily make in our confession and aim.)


O God, my heart is fixed, I will sing and give praise, even with my glory.  Psalms 108:1  
(A heart fixed.  Fixed here is the Hebrew word "kuwn" meaning securely determined, firmly established, fastened, enduring.   Our hearts need to be fastened securely to praise. )

Stop.  Breath in the sweet smell of Christmas.  Take in the glorious lights.  Ponder on the birth of our Savior.  Find magic and beauty surrounding you.  Find things to be thankful for daily......

I am thankful I have three beautiful kids to drive to school and a car to drive them in. 


I am thankful for my job and for the work I do and for good health that enables me to do it.


I am thankful for emails and computers and technology.  (It has made our lives easier in many ways.)

I am thankful we have clothes to wash and for washing machines/dryers.  (Along with that, I am thankful I don't have to go to creek and carry water a mile, make my own soap, build a fire to heat the water, then get my wash board out and scrub all the clothes by hand.  2011 is a nice time to live.)

I am thankful for the school my kids go to and that I am able to help them with homework.  

I am thankful for the activities our kids can be a part of and for the opportunity and means to be able to take them to those activities.   

I am thankful for Immanuel, God with us, Who enables and equips me to do all things unto and for His glory.  I am thankful He gave up His glorious Heavenly realm to live with us.  Talk about returning to the world from Fantasy Land!  From heaven to earth was quite a change for the King of Glory. 

Jesus never complained that his birthplace accommodations were less than desirable, that He had to walk everywhere, or constantly keep an eye on those disciples of His.  He did it all graciously and willingly.  He went from being born in a manger to death on the cross all with an attitude of servanthood and grace.  And yet at times I have difficulty going from my comfortable home to a well known superstore with a graceful and Christ-like attitude!  Oh, Lord, change my heart to be like Yours.

This is the beginning of the Christmas season.  We get to choose our attitude.  We can choose to have our hearts fixed on praise or be bah humbug about the season.  It is Christmas!  The most wonderful time of the year.  Let's unwrap each day as a gift and live thankful for every moment whether magical or mundane.   



With Thankfulness and Praise,

Happy Thanksgiving

Upon doing a word search, I discovered that the word "Thanksgiving" occurs 28 times in the bible. 

It is not surprising that Thanksgiving means "Thankfulness" or "The giving of thanks". 

I love Thanksgiving.  It is one of my favorite holidays, just below Christmas and Easter. I love the food, the fellowship, the family-time, the food.  Oh, and did I mention the food.  : )

It is also a special time for me because 14 years ago on Thanksgiving day in 1997, my dear husband proposed to me right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner.  It is a very funny story.

I got in my head that we should all go around the table and tell one thing for which we are thankful.  (Now, my family never did this before that year, but it has been repeated often since that year.)  Chris may have planted that seed in my head, I cannot fully remember.  Anywho, there were about 30 family members present.  Finally, it was his turn (I had NO idea it was coming and neither did anyone else!) 

Picture this:  

He is being very sweet telling how thankful he is for me and I am leaking out of every hole in my head. Then he gets down on one knee!  The leaking goes to a whole new level, turning into a full fledge flood.  Now this is the really funny part. --

My Uncle Wayne also figures out what he is about to do and yells, "Stop!  I have to go get the video camera!"  Seriously, I am not making that up!  : )  So, we all wait.  Chris on one knee and me leaking everywhere.   He returned after running upstairs to get the camera and Chris then continued.   I love my Uncle Wayne and I have to say in hindsight I am glad to have it recorded on video.  Thank you Uncle Wayne! 

So, as we go around the table this Thanksgiving--- I am thankful for my Uncle Wayne, thankful for my wonderful husband and that he went through with the proposal 14 years ago, the beautiful children the Lord has given us, our health, our jobs, our home, our church family, our precious friends, Sammy (our dog), my extended family, and for the opportunity to write this blog and for all of you who read it.

Most of all, I am thankful for the Lord's love and grace.  I am thankful for Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for me, that all my sins are washed away and that He has made all things new. 

Let's  look at some of those 28 verses and give Him praise and Thanksgiving......

That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all Your wonderous works.  Ps. 26:7


I will praise the name of God with a song, And will magnify Him with Thanksgiving. Ps. 69:30


Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. 
Ps. 95:2

Blessing and glory and wisdom, Thanksgiving and honor and power and might, Be to our God forever and ever, Amen.  Rev. 7:12

As we continue around the table, would you share with us one thing you are thankful for this Thanksgiving.....

Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name!  Psalms 103:1

Happy Thanksgiving!!!