Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Story of Our Son, Luke


Last year I wrote a post when I was going through a difficult time with our son, Luke, entitled "I Don't Prefer This {Part 2}"

I recently shared a little about this strenuous season at my church home.  The reason I shared was to give God the glory for how He brought us through the struggle and led us in the battle.

Last year, my son's teacher was convinced Luke had ADHD.  He received "bad" notes at school several times a week, every week.  He would twirl around while walking in line.  He constantly would put his feet up on the desk.  He would disrupt class with outbursts of whatever was on his mind at the time.  He would get up and dance in any given moment without notice.  He wouldn't listen or focus.  In short, he had a very hard time with self-control.

I have to tell you, Luke is not a bad kid, and never was a "bad" kid.  However, his behavior began to make him think he was "bad".  And as we know...."As he thinks in his heart, so is he" (Prov 23:7).   It is dangerous for kids to begin to think they are bad. 

My heart ached.  I prayed and prayed and believed and prayed some more and cried and cried and cried, and prayed.  Nothing.  No answer.  Just silence.  It was heart wrenching.

While Luke was struggling with "self-control",  I had to realize my "self" could not control what was happening with my son.  As much I wanted to change this situation and help my son, this situation was out of my control.    

Yes, I did what I could.  I prayed.  I believed.  I found scripture and spoke it over him.  I took him to the doctor, signed him up for Karate (suppose to help with self-control and discipline), and even took him for psychological testing (then did not go through with the testing because I felt the Lord close that door).

The doctor said he did not have ADHD.  The doctor did mention that sensory issues can often look like ADHD and recommended occupational therapy.  However, we did not pursue OT at that time. 

Well, about three more months passed and we had just about come to our wits end.  It is very grievous to watch all the kids in children's church from behind and see that yours is the only one getting up and spinning around during service.  The bad notes kept coming home.  Luke was saying he didn't like himself and he didn't know why he acted the way he did.  My heart was broken over it all and I felt powerless to change it.

However, I had been holding onto a promise in Psalms during the whole process..."I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go.  I will guide you with my loving eye on you."  Psalm32:8

We may not be able to control some circumstances, but we can look to the One in control to guide us. I was believing the Lord would show us what to do.  Sometimes we have to move for God to move us.

In an attempt to fix it and DO SOMETHING, I made an appointment with the doctor to talk about medication.  Oh, how I did not want to have to put my child on medication.  Please don't misunderstand.  I am not against medication and I would gladly have my child on it if it was needed and best for him.  I only wanted what was best for him.  The same is true of our God.  He only wants what is best for us. 

As the days drew nearer to the appointment, my heart grew heavier.  "Lord, I don't want to do this.  Show me if there is another way."  That Sunday, the Lord led me to give a special offering.  As I was handing it to our pastor, the pastor told me that this offering was a seed for the "desires of my heart."  When I gave it, it never crossed my mind that the Lord would use this offering as a seed for my heart's desires!  My son!!

I am telling you the truth (I promise I am not being flaky!) , that day I noticed a difference!  He was better!  I kept watching him.  That week, he was better!  I told my husband, "I am canceling the doctor appointment for medication!  He doesn't need it!"

God led us, instead, to have him go to occupational therapy as the doctor had recommended.  He was diagnosed with motor apraxia and other neurological symptoms. Apparently, he had never outgrown two basic reflexes we outgrow as infants and those were the source of the issues! 

He is much better today than he was a year ago.  He is a sweet boy and only gets "bad" notes occasionally now (I think he has gotten only about 5 all year!).

I have to tell you, I did not prefer having to go through this situation.  It was hard and I could not fix it.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."  1 Peter 1:7
 
Maybe God will reveal Jesus to others through your trial, or it may be that He will reveal more of Himself to you through it.  Or both.  If we never went through any fire, how would we become refined?  Gold becomes refined through fire.  We become more like Jesus through situations beyond our control that force us to depend on the One who is always dependable.

So, how did God work through this situation with my son?

1.  He revealed more of Himself, His love, and how involved He is in the details of our lives. He kept saying to me over and over again, "I hold your son in the palm of my hands."

2. He answered my prayer and provided an answer to help my son.

3.  I am more patient.

4.  I am more empathetic and compassionate for mothers with special needs kids or kids with any kind of health issue. 

 5.  Praise, glory and honor were brought to Jesus Christ!

When situations are out of your control, do what you can as you are led.  Many times God will instruct us to do something.  Other times, He may instruct us to be still.  Stay in His Word, look for His promises, believe and pray.  Trust.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him and I am helped;  Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.  Psalms 28:7






8 comments:

Rebecca Jo

Look at your faith throughout all this... amazing. & life changing :) Keep hanging onto the promises of the Lord. As you love your child, the Lord loves you... & your son :)

Sue Molitor

Thanks Rebecca Jo! Amen! He does love us sooo much!

Patricia Ewing

I'm on my 8th year as a teacher's aide and am STILL amazed at how OT helps children, especially those like your son. I am thankful for God's provision for your son! Thank you for sharing.

Mary G.

Sue, I enjoyed reading about your son! I have a sister and a few friends with "special needs children" and I quote that because they really are special just like any other kids. It takes a lot of patience and understanding from not only the parents, but teachers and other family members as well. I'm so glad you put your trust in God to work it out. That is so hard for us to do sometimes, especially concerning our children! Sharing this with my friends! Hugs!

Sue Molitor

Thank you Patricia! Yes, OT was a God-send. I am so thankful for OT's.

Mary, Yes, it was very hard for me. I couldn't even go talk to the teacher one time because I was so emotional about it. I sent my not so emotional husband. : ) Thank you for sharing it! Love you both!

Blogger Loves The King

Sue quiet a testimony lady. God answers prayers and you were faithful. Love your story and understand the medication thing. I think too often we rush to put them on meds. Love your story. Debbie W. (OBS Small Group Leader)

Jennifer

Oh Sue! I love this, thank you so much for sharing. What an amazing testament to the goodness of God. That His ways are higher than ours, and so are His thoughts. I have a wiggly boy as well, and understand the medicine part. Dealing with neuro meds with his older brother has scared me away from that. We now homeschool and he is a complete joy in all his boyness! Thank you!

Jennifer N
OBS Leadership Team

Sue Molitor

Thank you Debbie and Jennifer! Jennifer, what you said was very encouraging! Another reason to think more about homeschooling! Love you girls!

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