It's summer! In summers past, my days were filled with trips to splash pads, wade pools in the front yard, trips to the local zoo (which rocks, by the way!), and running through sprinklers with neighborhood friends. How I treasure these past time memories with my littles! But, as all things do, this too has changed. My kids, no longer toddlers, but teens and preteens, no longer care for wade pools or runs through sprinklers. Now filling our carefree summer days can be something of a creative challenge at times. Last week, we all agreed on a day at the mall with some friends. While roaming through various square-sized stores packed with sales and pleads to buy, I came across a sign with a message that spoke straight to my heart.
For a few months now, I've lost my why. I love to write, but somewhere along the way, discouragement set in, time became sparse, and my passion had gotten lost in the middle of tiredness and time-constraints. These obstacles weren't necessarily an issue in the past when my passion was full-course. However, my passion had bopped to below eye making it difficult to see the reason behind my writing.
That day at the mall, God used Claires, a store full of overpriced trinkets for preteen girls, to speak to me. For a brief moment, my eyes gazed upward. On the top shelf there was a sparkly sign that said,
"When you want to give up, remember why you started."
Why did I get started? Why did I start writing that one random day in February 2011? It was almost an after-thought. Some people have asked me if I just woke up one day and said, "I think I'll write today." Well, yes! That is pretty much what happened! But why? Looking back, my why has always been about freedom. On this Fourth of July, it seems fitting to me that I would remember my "why".
I see women, who are caught in captivity from a past sin or sins of those closest to them that have caused them much pain and bondage. Feelings of unworthiness and insecurity haunt and taunt. It makes me plum mad (to use a Southern term)! Mad at the enemy for his accusations, lies, and torment. My heart aches for these lovelies to know how dear they are to the King, to know who and Whose they are, and to know freedom.
This, my friends, is my why and has always been my "why". Somehow along the path, I had forgotten and had bought into a lie myself, the lie that what I write isn't helping and no one needs to read it.
Today I read a post a friend had written on Facebook. In it, she stated how because of people in her life who had sinned against her, she feels insecure and inadequate. Oh, my sweet friend, you are not alone. So many feel this way and it breaks my heart. Her post reminded me of my why...so my friend and others can hear the truth of God's love and find hope and freedom through the love of Jesus Christ.
I know what it is like to feel insecure. Oh boy, do I! I know what it is like to feel inadequate and unworthy. But, these are all lies of the enemy. Lies. Every. Single.One.Of. Them.
I am fed up (another Southern term, I believe!) with all of it! Fed up with the enemy and his lying to my lovely sisters in Christ! I tell you, fed up!
Through a sparkly sign at Claires and a Facebook post written by a friend today, I was reminded. Thank you Claires and K (I'll just call my friend "K") and thank you Lord for reminded me of my why.
Lord, I pray I would obey you and write only the words you have for me to write to speak truth to your beloved daughters and sons. Father, thank you for reminding me of my why and I pray that everyday I would wake up on fire for You, to live our Your purpose in my life and help set the captives free. I pray for this place to be a conduit for freedom. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! HE will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisifaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.