Monday, July 27, 2015

Does Planned Parenthood Care No Matter What?

My heart pounded as we entered the door of Planned Parenthood.  Anxiousness hovered over me like a dark cloud on a dreary day.  I walked to the desk to sign in.  The lady behind the counter measured up my fear and quickly suggested a pill to ease my nerves.  She handed me the pill and water.  Within moments, lightness overtook the heaviness of dread.  I couldn’t feel.  Everything seemed funny.  Then my name was called…from that point on, nothing was funny.

A nurse escorted me down a long hallway and into a cold sterile room.  There was a metal table.  I knew immediately I wanted to leave, but it seemed too late.  Then pain.  Screams.  Wailing.  Uncontrollable tears. 

Then it was over.   I was no longer pregnant.  In the waiting room, I knew…I knew what I had done was wrong.  I had tried to convince myself that it was only tissue.  I had tried to convince myself it was only a blob of nothingness.  My baby was 11 weeks old when I aborted.
At 11 weeks old, she had hands, feet, fingers, and toes.  Babies can be seen dancing and playing in the womb at 11 weeks old.  

Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t I know? Would it have mattered?  I’d like to hope so.
In April 2014, I went back to visit that Planned Parenthood for the first time in twenty-one years to pray healing over the land.  Karen Ellison, the founder of Deeper Still and some other Deeper Still team members and long time friend, Jill Balkema, walked around the building with me looking for a spot to pray.  The building had an aura of decay and death even evidenced by its outward appearance.  It was as if the death that happened on the inside of the building couldn’t help but seep through and spread to the outer as a wound bleeding inside rises to the surface as a discolored and eye-sore bruise.  

With the door in sight, my only thought was, “I wish I would have never opened that door. “ Then, as we prayed, the sign by the door was brought to my attention.  “Care. No matter what.”

I wonder?  Do they really care no matter what?  What about the lives lost daily?  What of the women left wounded who come into their doors?  What about those standing outside crying because of a choice made years ago?  If I had told them my story and how an abortion nearly destroyed me, would they had listened?  If they read this post, how would they respond?
Please don’t misunderstand.  I don’t blame them.  It was my choice.  My question is a rhetorical one.  The answer…an obvious one. 

Planned Parenthood has been in the news much lately as the public has gained knowledge of their practices in harvesting and selling aborted fetal tissue.  Planned Parenthood received $528 million dollars last year of tax payer’s money or $1.4 million per day (  Congress is in the process of trying to bring a vote to the floor to have Planned Parenthood defunded by tax dollars. Let us continue to pray for the lies to stop and truth to surface. 

That day in April 2014, as we stood outside Planned Parenthood in Champaign, IL and prayed, a lady came out and asked us to leave.  Did that lady care why I was outside crying? Twenty-one years of heartbreak and pain.  Twenty-one years of “what if”.  Twenty-one years of wishing I had never walked through that door.  A twenty-year-old girl I will never see this side of heaven. 

“Care.  No Matter What. “?   It is time for truth. 

Please join me in praying for truth to prevail and click on the link below to sign the petition for Planner Parenthood to be defunded.

Oh Heavenly Father, we come to you today on behalf of our nation.  The governments and rulers of our nation have created laws against You and against Your anointed.  Oh Lord, we as a people have allowed them and have bowed down to the idols of selfishness and self-reliance.  We have sacrificed our sons and daughters on the altars of self-interest.  Oh Father, we ask for you to hear our cry and forgive us and forgive our land.  We ask for You to speak and for truth to be unveiled and justice to come.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

I Told My Friend She was Ok to be Gay {And Why I Regret It}

She sat across from me at McDonald's.  I knew it was important.  She needed to talk to me.  Desperation poured from her lips as she sought my advice ( for some reason, she thought Miss Poor Decisions 1994 was the perfect person to ask.)

My friend was married.  She and her husband had a child together.  I never expected the words that flowed from her mouth that day.

She began to explain how she was attracted to another girl and she wasn't sure what to do about it or if she should tell her husband. 

I will always regret what I said to her that day.

Please don't judge me for what I'm about to disclose.  I was twenty.  Lost.  Remember Miss Poor Decisions 1994?  Yes.  I could have been crowned. 

My advise to her:  Follow your heart. You deserve to be happy.  Tell your husband. 

My heart aches typing those words.  Lord, forgive me.  Forgive me of any part I had in wrecking a marriage, hurting a child, and hurting my friend by encouraging her to go down a destructive path paved with sin. 

Why do I share this with you today?  Because I know I'm not the only one who will ever have this conversation.  And I want to help you make a better choice. 

To my friend, please forgive me for not having the courage nor the wisdom to have led you to a life-giving choice.

Here is what I wish I would have said to you that day twenty-one years ago:

Don't go there.  If you choose to go down that path, it will be full of heartache and brokenness. Resist the temptation. Run toward God.  Love your husband.  Love your child.  Be the best wife you can be to him.  Pray for your husband and marriage.  Pray for your child.  Go to church.  God loves you and wants to deliver you from temptation and sin.  God has such a good plan for you.  Choose Him.   

There is much controversy around the gay marriage issue and I have mostly remained silent on it until now.  Regardless of your position, I want you to consider this question: 

Which advice is truly the most loving?

I saw my friend a few years later.  She had traded her beautiful long black hair for a short bleached butch cut.  She was with the girl she had told me about.  Her daughter in tow.  My heart sank the moment I saw them.  She had followed my ill-given advice.  I thought it was the loving and accepting answer. 

Encouraging others to go against the Word of God is never loving nor accepting, it is dangerous.

What was my friend really desperate for that day?  Approval or rescue?  I believe she knew she was about to jump off a cliff and was crying out for someone to stop her.  Instead, sadly, I gave her a push. 

For those who say Christians are full of hate for not agreeing with homosexual marriage are misinformed.  It is because we love that we are against it.  I personally know the bondage of living in sin (and homosexual sex is sin) (Leviticus 20:10-18, 1 Tim 1: 8-11, Rom 1:24-28) and I want all people to experience living in the fullness of God and freedom in Christ.  Sin hinders our relationship with God.  I have lived both ways.  Trust me, freedom is decidedly better! 

Will you join me in displaying love by praying for my friend from twenty-one years ago? 

Father, I pray for this friend.  I don't know how she is or where she is but you do.  I thank you that you love her so much and that you laid her on my heart this day.  Lord, I pray for you to help her.  I pray for her to come into a life-saving relationship with Jesus Christ.  I pray for you to rescue her and deliver her from bondage and free her from sin.  Lord, I pray for you to work in her life in miraculous ways and reveal yourself to her mightily.  Lord, save her and her family. And I pray for salvation and healing for her, her child, her husband and the other girl.  In Jesus' Name, Amen