Lessons Learned at Walmart

My daughter and I parked the cart over by the side of the rack and began looking at the cute beach towels. Suddenly, I heard a crash and glanced as I saw a man ram a cart into the display and mutter something about people parking their carts in the aisle and how rude that is.

As I looked, I noticed it was our cart he had pushed.  I immediately began singing "Let it Go" from the movie, Frozen...of course. (So many applications to that song.)  

Well, I was able to just "let it go" and go on with a rather enjoyable Walmart experience.  Then, I got in line at the checkout counter.  As I was placing my items on the conveyor belt, I noticed some unpleasantness going on behind me in line.  There were 3 ladies behind me and apparently one of them had "cut" in front of the other by positioning herself to the side and in front of her like she was charging ahead for the finish of the Kentucky Derby.

I had to laugh to myself.  However, the lady behind the eager race horse did not find the whole scenario quite as humorous.  She did try to be gracious and told the lady to go ahead and that she could see she was obviously in a hurry.  The race horse said, "Ok" and began placing her items behind mine on the belt.

Well, the lady behind her could not contain herself any longer and began to inform the lady about how rude she was being, to which, the lady had no response.  She just continued placing items on the belt and then she stood right where I needed to stand to pay.

Still amused by the fiasco, I politely told the lady I still needed to pay and asked her if she could move back. She did...for about 2 minutes, and then stepped back to where I needed to stand.

Well, the cashier was done ringing up my items by this time.  So, I smiled and laughed and told the lady I needed to get to that spot to pay, unless of course, she wanted to pay for my items.

She smiled and laughed too and something changed.  I think something happened in her when I reacted in kindness and even humor to this tense situation.  She immediately had a change of heart and suddenly this race horse that was in such a hurry, backed up, pushed her groceries to the back of the belt and insisted that the lady behind her go first.

A spiritual mentor of mine, Karen Ellison, the founder of Deeper Still Ministry, talks about reacting to people in the opposite spirit.  It is the same principle as blessing those who curse you.  When you are kind to those who are unkind or rude to you, something happens in the spiritual realm that we cannot see.  It disarms the forces that are at work to tempt us into sin.

I could have easily gotten offended and irritated at that lady for continuing to act impatient and being where I needed to stand.  And, many times in the past, I haven't responded in love like I should have.  However, this day I did and I saw the result!  Sometimes we may not see the result, but we just need to know that God is working even if we don't see it.

Power Verses:

1.  Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.  Luke 6:28

2.  A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15: 1

3.  Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sin. Proverbs 17:9

  

Hemmed In

This is the memory verse for Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study "A Confident Heart" this week.  I love this verse. 

The NIV translation says, "You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me."  

"You hem me in"...mmm... doesn't that sound lovely? 

Today we are digging in deeper...

Part 1: "You go before me and follow me."  

In the original Hebrew, "hem" is the word tsuwr, and it means to enclose or secure.  Wow!  How comforting to know the God of the universe has us tucked in tight and secure.

"You go before me."  The Hebrew word for "before" is qedem.  It means aforetime, from the beginning.

God knows the future.  He is already there.  He has known it from the beginning.  He goes before us.

"...and follow me." The Hebrew word for "follow" is achowr.  It means the back side or rear.

 He is our rear guard behind us.  He hems us in secure in Him.

He is before us and behind us.  As my friend, Melissa Taylor, says, "We are a God-sandwich".

Now for Part 2: "You place your hand of blessing on my head."

The word "hand" is from the Hebrew word kaph.  One meaning is palm of the hand.  He not only inscribes us in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16), but He also places His hand on us.  Again, God-sandwich!  

Another meaning for kaph was power.  God places His hand of our head and when He does, it is full of His glorious power!  Of course it is, after all, He is God, full of power and majesty!!

Wherever we go, He goes.  He goes before us.  He is already there.  He stands behind us to protect and guard and hem us in.  He places His Almighty and powerful hand of blessing on our heads!

Father, we thank You that You go before us and follow us, that You place Your hand of blessing on our heads.  Thank you for hemming us in and keeping us secure in You and Your power.  We need not fear the future, worry about the present, or fret about the past because You surround us as with a shield.  We are secure in Your love.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.   

Lean On Me

I will say of the LORD, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust! Psalm 91:2 AMP

The year was 1988.  Big hair was in with the puffy bangs sprayed stiff with White Rain.  I was in middle school.  My friend, Challie, and I were inseparable with our collars turned up and jeans rolled tight.  We were two teenie-boppers at the Peoria Fair.  We jolted to a booth boasting star-sighted singers could record a "tape" in a real music studio (Yes, I said "tape". I am that old.).  The tune we chose to record was, "Lean on Me",a popular song at that time.  Perhaps you are old enough to remember it?  

Lean on me, when you're not strong.  I'll be your friend.  I'll help you carry on.  Lean on me, for, for it won't be long and I'm going to need somebody to lean on.  Just call on me, brother, when you need a friend.  We all need somebody to lean on.

I"ll spare you and won't sing it. {smile} Thankfully, this was long before American Idol.  Simon would have chewed us up, ate us for lunch, and then spit us out!  (Sorry Challie, we were not good!)

However bad our vocals may have been, it doesn't negate the goodness of the song. 

When I look at the verse above, I see how our God wants us to run to Him and lean on Him.

He promises to be our refuge.   Merriam-Webster defines "refuge" as a shelter or protection from danger or distress.  He is our protection from danger or distress.  (Yes, He even protects you from my singing.) 

He promises to be our fortress.  A fortress is a secure place.  He promises to be a place of security.  

On Him I lean and rely, and in Him, I confidently trust. 

I need to know He protects me.  I need to know I can be secure in Him.  I need to know that He is my friend and I can lean on Him and rely on Him.  There are things I don't understand.  There are uncertainties that loom and threaten to quake my confidence.  No matter the circumstances, I will not waiver!  God is my certainty!  He is my confidence! I will confidently trust in the Lord, my God! 

God is inviting you to hear His sweet voice today. Won't you join Him in the quietness of His studio and record His voice in your heart...

Lean on Me when you're not stong.  I'll be your friend.  I'll help you carry on.

I Have Learned...

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:11-13

Merriam-Webster defines "content" as being pleased and satisfied : not needing more

"Not needing more."  Those three words sound so beautiful to me.  We live in a have more, be more, obtain more, live more, achieve more kind of world.   

What if we truly could be content no matter what our circumstances?  Paul had been in and out of prison, shipwrecked three times, beaten with rods, and stoned. Plus, he suffered weariness and sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, many perils, cold and nakedness all for the cause of Christ (2 Corinthians 11:23-27).

Yet, he learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Notice he said, "I have learned".  Paul is often put up on a pedestal (rightly so) for his faith and contentment, but these three little words give me hope.  These three words, "I have learned" imply that Paul did not automatically have joy and contentment in all his circumstances.  How then, did he learn an attitude of contentment in "whatever"?

He learned through enduring.

Paul wrote this letter proclaiming his astonishing ability of contentment approximately around 61 A.D.
Let's fast forward 1942 years....to 2003.

I was not in prison and certainly not shipwrecked.  Nope, no one had ever tried to stone me.  I may not have had the best wardrobe, but I was far from naked or cold.  I might had been a bit weary and sleepless since I had a six month old.  However,  I'm not sure sleeplessness alone would account for my poor and discontented attitude. 

I desperately wanted to be a stay-at-home mom to my six month old son, Joe.  I was only working two days a week.  One would think I would have been thankful to be at home most of the time.  I was not.  All I could think of was what I did not have and the time I was not at home.

God knew my heart needed an overhaul.  I may not have been shipwrecked, but God was about to toss me into a sea of despondency where desperation would force me to cling to Him as my only raft of contentment.   
My husband became unemployed.  I went from having to work part-time to full-time.  My dream of being a stay-at-home mom would have to be postponed.  My husband and I both assumed he would find a job quickly.  Months passed...nothing.  Six months passed...nothing.  How is it that a talented young man that had companies beating down his door just a few years prior could not find anything? My heart ached.  Why was this happening?  I was not content. I was angry!  I was angry at my husband.  I was angry at God.  I was angry at myself.  I was angry at sister so and so who got to be a stay at home mom.  I was angry at... pretty much everyone.

Then God started working.  He is so good to not let us stay in our sin.  He showed me where I had treated others wrong.  He began to show me where I had not been walking in love with people at my job and my wrong attitude towards my husband.  He revealed the covetousness and jealousy in my heart.  He showed me where I had been bitter, ungrateful and judgmental.    

Faith works by love.  If we aren't walking in love, we hinder our faith and prayers.  Yes, God wanted me to be able to stay-at-home with Joe.  He wanted to give me the desires of my heart.  However, more than grant the desires of my heart, God wanted to change my heart.  God cares more about the condition of our heart than the comfort of our circumstances.  

He slowly changed my heart.  As He did, I began to become content with my circumstances. I began to be thankful for my job.  I was thankful my husband could be home to have time with Joe.  I stopped looking at what I did not have and focused on the Lord, what He was doing, and my many blessings.  I began praising and being full of joy. 

As my heart changed, God began to speak to me when I gently asked him "Why am I still having to work full-time? and When will Chris find a job?  God, your Word says, 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.'  You know my heart's desire is to be home with Joe."

He would answer softly, "Do you trust Me?"  to which I learned to simple respond, "Yes Lord."

It took Chris one and half years to find a job.  In reality, it took one of half years to complete the heart surgery to circumcise all the wrong attitudes God needed to cut away.  After Chris found a job, I only had to work two days a week.  This time I was EXTREMELY thankful I was home with my two year old son the other three days a week.  Not only did I get to stay home with my son, Joe, but I was able to stay home for the next 8 years with Luke and Sarah.  God was so faithful to answer my prayer.  As a result of having to wait for my heart's desire, I appreciated every moment I was able to be at home with my children.

Trials birth training.  Paul said he learned to be content. I would say a main truth learned through enduring the above trial is:

Contentment is not a destination, it is a decision.

Contentment is not a destination, it is a decision.  Like Paul, we too can learn to be content in whatever the circumstances because we can indeed do all things through Christ who gives us strength.    

The Story of Our Son, Luke

Last year I wrote a post when I was going through a difficult time with our son, Luke, entitled "I Don't Prefer This {Part 2}"

I recently shared a little about this strenuous season at my church home.  The reason I shared was to give God the glory for how He brought us through the struggle and led us in the battle.

Last year, my son's teacher was convinced Luke had ADHD.  He received "bad" notes at school several times a week, every week.  He would twirl around while walking in line.  He constantly would put his feet up on the desk.  He would disrupt class with outbursts of whatever was on his mind at the time.  He would get up and dance in any given moment without notice.  He wouldn't listen or focus.  In short, he had a very hard time with self-control.

I have to tell you, Luke is not a bad kid, and never was a "bad" kid.  However, his behavior began to make him think he was "bad".  And as we know...."As he thinks in his heart, so is he" (Prov 23:7).   It is dangerous for kids to begin to think they are bad. 

My heart ached.  I prayed and prayed and believed and prayed some more and cried and cried and cried, and prayed.  Nothing.  No answer.  Just silence.  It was heart wrenching.

While Luke was struggling with "self-control",  I had to realize my "self" could not control what was happening with my son.  As much I wanted to change this situation and help my son, this situation was out of my control.    

Yes, I did what I could.  I prayed.  I believed.  I found scripture and spoke it over him.  I took him to the doctor, signed him up for Karate (suppose to help with self-control and discipline), and even took him for psychological testing (then did not go through with the testing because I felt the Lord close that door).

The doctor said he did not have ADHD.  The doctor did mention that sensory issues can often look like ADHD and recommended occupational therapy.  However, we did not pursue OT at that time. 

Well, about three more months passed and we had just about come to our wits end.  It is very grievous to watch all the kids in children's church from behind and see that yours is the only one getting up and spinning around during service.  The bad notes kept coming home.  Luke was saying he didn't like himself and he didn't know why he acted the way he did.  My heart was broken over it all and I felt powerless to change it.

However, I had been holding onto a promise in Psalms during the whole process..."I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go.  I will guide you with my loving eye on you."  Psalm32:8

We may not be able to control some circumstances, but we can look to the One in control to guide us. I was believing the Lord would show us what to do.  Sometimes we have to move for God to move us.

In an attempt to fix it and DO SOMETHING, I made an appointment with the doctor to talk about medication.  Oh, how I did not want to have to put my child on medication.  Please don't misunderstand.  I am not against medication and I would gladly have my child on it if it was needed and best for him.  I only wanted what was best for him.  The same is true of our God.  He only wants what is best for us. 

As the days drew nearer to the appointment, my heart grew heavier.  "Lord, I don't want to do this.  Show me if there is another way."  That Sunday, the Lord led me to give a special offering.  As I was handing it to our pastor, the pastor told me that this offering was a seed for the "desires of my heart."  When I gave it, it never crossed my mind that the Lord would use this offering as a seed for my heart's desires!  My son!!

I am telling you the truth (I promise I am not being flaky!) , that day I noticed a difference!  He was better!  I kept watching him.  That week, he was better!  I told my husband, "I am canceling the doctor appointment for medication!  He doesn't need it!"

God led us, instead, to have him go to occupational therapy as the doctor had recommended.  He was diagnosed with motor apraxia and other neurological symptoms. Apparently, he had never outgrown two basic reflexes we outgrow as infants and those were the source of the issues! 

He is much better today than he was a year ago.  He is a sweet boy and only gets "bad" notes occasionally now (I think he has gotten only about 5 all year!).

I have to tell you, I did not prefer having to go through this situation.  It was hard and I could not fix it.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."  1 Peter 1:7
 
Maybe God will reveal Jesus to others through your trial, or it may be that He will reveal more of Himself to you through it.  Or both.  If we never went through any fire, how would we become refined?  Gold becomes refined through fire.  We become more like Jesus through situations beyond our control that force us to depend on the One who is always dependable.

So, how did God work through this situation with my son?

1.  He revealed more of Himself, His love, and how involved He is in the details of our lives. He kept saying to me over and over again, "I hold your son in the palm of my hands."

2. He answered my prayer and provided an answer to help my son.

3.  I am more patient.

4.  I am more empathetic and compassionate for mothers with special needs kids or kids with any kind of health issue. 

 5.  Praise, glory and honor were brought to Jesus Christ!

When situations are out of your control, do what you can as you are led.  Many times God will instruct us to do something.  Other times, He may instruct us to be still.  Stay in His Word, look for His promises, believe and pray.  Trust.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him and I am helped;  Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.  Psalms 28:7

Yield or Yell

Right now as I am writing this, there is a pile of stuffed animals on the floor of our toy room.  By pile, I mean five square feet of stuff animals covering every inch of the carpet.  Clutter and I don't get along well.

In the past, a pile of clutter like mentioned above would have sent me into a frenzy of frustration with my three little ones, followed by threats of giving away every single toy they own. 

This week I am in the middle of a wonderful Bible study with Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies with Melissa Taylor.  We are reading the book, Let. It. Go by Karen Ehman.

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish ones tears her down.  Proverbs 14:1  
  
God wants us to parent with grace.  

Karen points out, "Learning to walk the fine line between being controlling and conscientious is a constant yet sanctifying struggle.  It keeps you going to God for direction.  It will find you asking for forgiveness for the times you blow it (there will be many). It will force you out of a stance of selfishness and into a posture of grace."   (pg 124-125)

To parent with grace is not possible without yielding to the One who freely gives grace.  Parenting with grace requires yielding to the Holy Spirit. 

In the above scenario with the stuffed animals, I could let my sinful flesh control me and lose my temper with the kids. (It would not be the first time.)   It is interesting how when we are letting our flesh control us that we desire more control over others.  Perhaps it is because we feel out of control that we attempt to control our kids by losing our temper and yelling at them.  However, when we react that way, it doesn't breathe life into our home.  It destroys our homes.

Which woman will we choose to be?  Will we choose to be the wise woman who builds her home with words of kindness, love and grace?  Or will we choose to be the foolish woman who tears down her home with words of criticism, anger, and control.

Today I have a choice to make.  Everyday I have a choice to make.

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. “ Romans 8:5-6

 

Jesus says in John 6:63, "It is the Spirit who gives life, the flesh profits nothing.  The words that I speak to you are spirit and they are life."  

The Holy Spirit gives life and peace. Yielding to the Holy Spirit when you would rather yell will bring life.  The words we speak are so important.  They can bring life or death. 

Words can build up or destroy a home. Words can bring death to relationships.  Words can cut the self-worth of a child with wounds that may take years or a lifetime to heal without God's divine intervention. 

Whether it is clutter, chaos, cleanliness, or compliance in our homes that causes us to seek control, we need let it go and to cling to Jesus.  Nothing is worth the price of destroying our relationships with our children.  Their little spirits need nurturing not knocked down by the piercing of our know-it-all intonation.

The Holy Spirit alone brings life.  Only by His grace can we be the wise woman who builds up her home.  His grace is sufficient.  With all the grace He has given us, how could we not extend it to others, especially the precious ones He has entrusted in our care.

Which will it be, yield or yell?  Today, I choose to yield.  

Dear Father,  I pray for your help.  Help me to let go where I need to in my parenting.  Help me to yield to Your Holy Spirit and not give into my sinful flesh.  Father, help me to be loving and kind to my children and to remember they are only children.  God, I need you.  Help me to yield instead of yell.  Give me wisdom to be the mother who builds up her home and her children.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Approval Trap

This week I started the Bible study Let. It. Go. by Karen Ehman.  I am an online Bible study leader with Proverbs 31 Ministries with Melissa Taylor and this is the study we are currently doing.

As I mentioned in my previous posts, I didn't really think I needed this book.  Control issues...me?  Not a problem...or so I thought.  God is opening my eyes (as I had prayed at the end of the last Bible study, Greater by Pastor Steven Furtick).  When God starts to show you areas in your heart that need changed, it can be hard.  God loves me just the way I am, but I am forever thankful that He loves me too much to let me stay that way.   

Whenever I thought of Collosians 3:23 in the past, I would think of working hard at something, doing it with excellence and to the best of your ability as unto the Lord. 

This week, God is giving me another perspective. This perspective is about MOTIVE.

We can do all kinds of good works and ministry, but WHY are we doing it?  Why am I doing it?

Am I writing this blog today to see how many comments or "likes" it will get or am I writing it out of obedience, to help others, and bring glory to God?

Am I leading Bible studies so others will think I am spiritual and hold me up as a leader or am I doing it to help women become free and bring glory to God?
 
Whenever I do anything, am I doing it for recognition and praise?  Am I doing it for God's glory or am I doing it for mine?

These are hard questions.  I need to be sure my motives are right and pure.  I think most of the time they are, but are they always? It is easy to get caught in the trap of seeking approval.

Approval is a trap because it is an unending abyss.  The more approval one receives from man, the more one craves.  Nothing satisfies and nothing can fill it. The only way out is filling the hole with the assurance of the approval we have from the Lord.  We don't need the world's approval when we know we have His.

We all need to remember that God ALREADY approves of us.  We don't need others to approve us, He does!

Now when I look at Colossians 3:23, I see that in whatever we do, we need to be sure we are doing it FOR the Lord and not for ourselves and not for the approval of man. 

I am taking a hard look at my inner self this week to see why I do what I do.  Lord, I pray it would only be for Your glory and never for mine.

Father, I pray for a pure heart before you and man.  I pray I would not do things for the approval of man, but rather for Your glory.  Father, forgive me to the times I have sought the approval of man and even longed for it.  Father, thank you for opening my eyes and helping me see areas You want to change.  Change me Lord.  Help me know I am approved of by You.  Help me know I don't need to seek approval anywhere else.  I love you.  In Jesus' name, Amen. 

Honking or Humility

"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.  Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."  Philippians 2:3-4

This morning was not much different than other mornings.  Getting three kids ready for school and out the door with teeth and hair brushed and backpacks with lunches all make for some hectic mornings.  We left a little later than usual due to some last minute homework I realized I forgot to do with my kindergartener.  We rushed through the homework and raced to the van.  Off we went, a little late, but we were on target to still make it on time!  Then....the bus.

A small bus stops on our street everyday.  The bus driver must be very friendly because she stops and talks to the parents for what seems like long periods of time.  There have been many times I have patiently waited for them to finish up the conversation and the red sign to disappear allowing passage.  

I am embarrassed to say, not this morning.  

Again, the parent was outside talking to the driver and the red sign was out.  No kids to be seen anywhere.  All were on the bus!  Why is the red sign out?  Doesn't she realize I need to get through?  What about me and where I need to go?!  Doesn't she know I am running late?   Wow, there were a lot of I 's in those thoughts.  

So this morning, I crept up behind the bus.  Surely this will send her a hint.  Instead, it backfired. She gave me an irritated look and firmly put her hand out the window indicating that I needed to stop.  So, I did what I though best and gave my horn a good honk and pointed that she need to move (like I was from New York or something.)  I seriously cannot believe I am sharing this with you!  Will y'all still love me?

She finally did move, but I knew I shouldn't have honked at the small bus.  What kind of small person honks at a small bus?  

There is only one reason why I honked at the bus.  Pride.  Nasty, ugly pride.  I guess pride is the reason God is having me share this story.  I need humility.  I need to think of others as higher than myself.  The reason I got irritated this morning (other than that we were running late), was I was putting my needs ahead of others.  
Maybe the kids weren't seated yet and she had to wait.  Maybe the parent is going through a difficult time and she was offering words of encouragement.  Maybe she is going through something hard and the parent was sharing God's Word with her.  I don't know and who am I to think me passing through is more important.  

I wrote the other day that I didn't think I had control issues.  However, this morning I wanted control.  I wanted my own way instead of trusting God. The delay could have been the Lord protecting me from an accident.  There could be something greater at work than just a bus stopping traffic.  

When we seek to control. Pride. 
We want our own way.  Pride.  
When we feel others are inconveniencing us. Pride.

"Let us not only look out for our own interests, but for the interests of others."   Putting others first.  This is a lesson I want to teach my children.  I need to live it for them to learn it.  Unfortunately, I let pride get the better of me today and chose honking over humility.  

I think this will make a good devotional tonight for them.  Hopefully, they can learn from mommy's mistakes.  I pray next time I will choose humility over honking.