In the Waiting

For many years, we have been waiting.  It has been an ongoing struggle.  I won’t go into details, but I will say it has been a battle that for me has been emotionally exhausting at times.  And it has to do with the health of someone in our family. (Nothing life-threatening. ) 

We are finally getting some answers and are at a place of peace with what we must do.  Last week we sat in a doctor’s office waiting to see the doctor.  I was sure she would confirm what we felt the Lord was leading us to accept and the step to take next in this journey. 

Glancing at my phone, I read the prayer request responses from a few faithful prayer warriors I knew would pray during this appointment.  Then I opened a book to pass the time and began to read.  Within the first paragraph, tears splashed onto the pages below.  My hand reached into my purse and waded through a variety of items in order to find the soft package of travel tissues.  Finding my tissues, I wiped my eyes, temporarily slowing the leaking. 

I again, turned to my phone and quickly texted a prayer request,

“We are still in the waiting room.  I just started tearing up while reading a book.  Please pray. I don’t know why I’m crying.”

As I typed the above request, my eyes fixed on the word “waiting”.  I couldn’t look away from it.  “We are still in the waiting…”

Still in the waiting.   For years, we have been in the waiting.   Perhaps I was emotional because I could sense we were almost done waiting.  Or perhaps it was because the wait has been long. 

Yes, we would have loved for the Lord to choose to heal our family member quickly and supernaturally.  Yes, and amen!  However, it doesn’t appear that is the road the Lord has chosen for this particular journey.  We have been seeking the Lord and praying about this particular issue for years, waiting and then moving when led, and then waiting some more.  We have seen God move and have seen progress.  However, we have not seen complete deliverance.  What we have seen, though, is our God being faithful to answer what the next step is, directing and guiding us every step of the way and helping us prepare our hearts for His next leading. 

At the doctor’s office that day, what we felt the Lord saying to us was confirmed by the doctor and we do have a clear path forward as we follow the Lord in His next step. 

Are we still in the waiting?  Yes.  But I have a peace that passes all understanding knowing we are in the waiting room of the Great Physician.  He is altogether good, loving, and trustworthy. It isn’t that He is too busy or doesn’t care or just wants us to wait.  If we are in the waiting room, there is always a higher purpose in it.

     

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope.” Ps 130:5

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.  He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved.  In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.  Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart belfore Him; God is a refuge for us. “ Ps 62:5-8

Are you in the waiting room today?  The Lord is with you in the waiting. 

Father, I thank you that you are right in the middle of the waiting.  Lord, it is in Your Word that I hope.  I wait silently for You alone, O Lord!  My expectation is from You.  You are my rock and salvation, my strong defense and I shall not be moved.  I trust in You and I pour out my heart before You, O God.  You are my refuge, strength and shield.  Deliver by Your mighty hand.  Lead and guide me in your path of deliverance, healing, and restoration. And if waiting is part of the journey, I ask to see You in the waiting and for your full and perfect plan to be fulfilled.  I ask for complete healing, body, soul and spirit, In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

Truly Treasured {And a GIVEAWAY!!!--You Don't want to Miss!!}

Her sunlit silky straight hair bounced delightfully on her shoulders as we strolled around the neighborhood circle.  Her stroll was more of a skip-like dance as she zipped by grass patches neatly trimmed and tidy.

She paused briefly as her eye caught a glimpse of golden treasure sparkling in the sunlight.  Wide-eyed and giddy, she bent down and picked up her treasure.  Clinching her fist, she held the new found treasure tightly.

Her excitement bubbled over like a fountain without containment as she gently opened her palms to reveal the treasure she had found.

"Mom!  I have a surprise for you!", she exclaimed with joy! "Come see what I have for you in my hands!"

She opened her hands to announce her precious find. Within her hands lay a dry, crinkled dandelion.  However, to her, this dandelion was not a tattered yellow weed, it was a dazzling treasure miraculously found growing amid the boring green patches.

"The Lord will hold you in His hand for all to see--a splendid crown in the hand of God."  Isaiah 62:3 

The Lord holds you in His hand.  You are His treasure, "a splendid crown", securely fastened in His hand.

You may feel like a dry weed, but He doesn't see you as crinkled and tattered.  He sees beauty.  His creation. His treasure.

Today, I want to offer you a chance to win this beautiful wallet I purchased at the Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference last weekend.  The conference was amazing and I wish I could have taken all of you along with me (how fun would that be!).  However, since that isn't possible, I wanted to bring you something back.

Isn't it cute!!  

To enter, all you have to do is "Like" my Facebook page and share this link on your Facebook page.  

If you have already "liked" my page, then all you need to do to enter to win this gift is share it on your Facebook page then go to my page to comment on this post to let me know you shared.  

You have until Friday to share.  I will be drawing the winner on Saturday morning and will announce the winner here! 

A wallet holds treasure.  I pray that every time you hold your wallet in your hand, you will be reminded that the Lord holds His greatest treasure in His hand, you.

Child of God

Day 3:

You are a child of God

"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name."  John 1:12



For those of you just joining us, we are on day 3 of 40 days of finding our true identity.  It just so happened that the memory verse for the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study Limitless Life lined up perfectly with today's verse for finding our true identity!

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be the daughter of a king, a princess?  My little girl is seven and just the other day she was telling me how she would love to be a princess and live in a castle.  I would venture to say most little girls dream about being Cinderella at one point or another.

When an earthy prince or princess is born, it is not of their own power.  They didn't do anything to become royalty.  They were simply born into royalty.   And as a result of their birth, earthly princes and princesses receive certain privileges and rights as heirs in their kingdom.

When we were reborn into our heavenly inheritance, it was not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God (John 1:13). When we received Christ and believed in His name, we became royalty not by any effort on our part, but by the power of God.

We became a child of the Most High King.

Rest on that thought for just a moment.

God.  The One who created the Universe.  The One who formed the seas and separated them from the land. The One who existed before time began.  The One who carefully placed every star in its space.  The One who measured the distance from galaxy to galaxy.  The One who formed mankind out of dust and breathed life into our beings. That God loves us and calls us His.

It is amazing to imagine that He (most powerful Being in the Universe!) could love us as His own child.  Yet, He does.  And He doesn't get it wrong like some earthly parents do.  He is a loving and caring Father, who longs for a close, intimate relationship with you, His child.  He never gets it wrong.  He will never leave.  He will never reject.  He will never abandon.  He is love.  He is waiting with open arms.

As children of God, we have a spiritual birthright and are heirs of His Kingdom. Because of our birthright in Jesus, we have been given spiritual blessings in Christ (Ephesians 1:3).  Since we are His children, we are His heirs.  We are heirs with Christ of God's glory.

We may have all dreamed about being Cinderella at one time (and for the record I love Disney fairy tales). But I have to say, Cinderella, your fairy tale is a shoe short.  We don't need a fairy god-mother when we have the Father God as the Creator of our glory story.

Father God, Your love amazes me.  You love me as your daughter, the same as You love Your Son, Jesus.  You loved me so much that You sent Jesus to die in my place.  Father I pray that You would surround me with Your love and reveal more and more of Yourself to me.  And I pray that I would rest in the assurance that I am Your beloved child.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.    

True Love Conquers All {With a Frozen Twist}

Love...

The most powerful force there is.   I love Disney movies and princess analogies.  : )

The evil villain places a spell on the princess that can only be broken with... true love's kiss.  The prince comes in to rescue his love by giving her true love's kiss.  She awakens. Evil is defeated.  And true love conquers all.

However, the most recent Disney movie, Frozen, places a new twist on true love breaking a curse, a more accurate depiction of true love.

"Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."  John 15:13

I don't want to spoil the movie in case you haven't seen it, but in it there is a selfless act of true love that saves the princess.  She lays down her life in love for another.

Where fear had once dominated and controlled, love set the curse free and true love overcame fear.

Love conquered fear and broke the curse.

Jesus defeated fear and every other scheme of the enemy on the cross.  He demonstrated His perfect love for us by laying down His life for us.  His act of true love conquered fear and redeemed us from the curse of the law. (Galations 3:13)

The enemy wants to hold us in bondage to fear. Faith and love work together to conquer fear.  Galations 5:6 says "Faith works through love."

Perfect love casts out fear, and it takes faith to operate in that love.

 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.

But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."   1 John 5:10 

We have Jesus' conquering kind of love inside of us!  (1 John 4:12)  Fear flees when we choose love.

Rest in His love today, His love abides in you.  Give it away.  Love will drive fear away.

True love conquers all.  

  

Contrary Winds

"Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away...but the boat was in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary."  Matthew 14:22, 24 (emphasis added)

The Greek word for "contrary" here is enantios and it means "against, opposed as an adversary".

Have you ever found yourself in a contrary situation?  

There are times when we face contrary winds in our lives.  These storms threaten to toss us about as that boat was by the waves.  However, there was purpose in the storm when the disciples were in the boat just as there is purpose when we come head to head with contrary winds.

Notice, "Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him."   Jesus, being the son of God, knew a storm was coming.  Yet, He did not say to His disciples, "You know, a storm is coming, maybe you should hang out with me on land a little longer."

No, He told them to go out onto the water knowing the storm was coming.  He led them into the storm.

In March this year, God told me a trial was coming.  Shortly after, we went through a trivial test involving a stay at the Sleep Inn.  I was hoping that was the trial, but I knew in my heart the winds that were coming were much more contrary than an uncomfortable stay at an interstate inn.

This year has proven to be full of trials and contrary winds.  Some may argue that God would not lead us into these trials, and we somehow stumbled on the hardness by our own means and possibly sin.  That may be the case at times, but it was not the case for us this time.  Scripture clearly shows there are times God leads His people into a storm (Matt 8:23, Matt 4:11).

Why would God lead His disciples to go on the boat KNOWING a storm was approaching? Hmmm...Why would God lead us on our path KNOWING the trials and opposition we would face?  

Well, I think if we read on in Matt 14, we will find some answers (I encourage you to stop and read it now).

In short, Jesus decided to take a walk (on the water).  Peter jumped out the boat and walked towards Him (on the water).  Peter took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink.  Jesus reached out and saved Peter. They both got into the boat and the storm stopped.

"Then those who were in the boat came and worshipped Him, saying, Truly You are the son of God."  Matt 14:33  

When we are in a trial facing contrary winds, we can rest in knowing Jesus isn't surprised by the storm.  He knew it was coming and He wants us to trust Him enough to jump out into the water with Him.  

He could have stopped the storm at any time.  But, he waited until they got back to the boat.  Miracles happened while waiting for the answer.  The disciples saw more of Who Jesus was.  They saw more of His glory and came to know Him more while they waited weaving in the waves.  One could argue there is no greater miracle than knowing more of our Heavenly Savior and King.

The rest of what God spoke to me after He told me a trial was coming was:

"It [a trial] is coming, but I won't leave you.  I will never forsake you.  do not be afraid for I am with you.  Do not be anxious for I am Your God.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Do not look to the left or to the right.  Do not look at circumstances.  Keep your focus on Me.  I will not allow you to be shaken.  I will not let you be moved.  Trust in Me and My love.  This will end well and for My glory."  

Jesus did not leave His disciples alone on the boat to fight the storm by themselves.  He came to them.    As long as Peter focused on Jesus, and not to the right or left or circumstances, he stood on water with the son of God.  But even when Peter's gaze shifted away out of fear, He lifted Peter up by His hand (He upheld Him with His righteous right hand...literally) {smile}.  It did end well for Peter and the other disciples. It ended in more of His glory being revealed.

I don't know what contrary winds you are facing at the moment.  But, I want you to be encouraged.  Do not be afraid.  Keep your focus on Him. The King of Kings is walking on the water with you and He WILL NOT let you fall.  Know that whatever you are facing is not a surprise to the King of Glory.  As your eyes stay fixed on Him, You will come to know Him more intimately.  You will come to know more and more of Your savior and King.  There is no greater gain.  Just trust.

Power Verses: 

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7 


"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Cor 4:17

One Thing

 

Distraction.  The word for "distracted" in Luke 10:40-42  is from the Greek word, perispao.  It means to draw away, to be driven about mentally, to be over-occupied, or too busy.  

There are many distractions in this world that clamor for our attention.  Distractions can range from insignificant fun to dangerous detouring sin. But mostly, distractions are the everyday activities in our lives that keep us busy from sun-up to sundown until we crawl from exhaustion into the comfort of rest in our beds. 

Busyness can keep us from the feet of Jesus and severely hinder our relationship with the Lord.  Even good busyness.

"But Martha was distracted with much serving."   Sometimes the distractions in our life that keep us from the feet of Jesus as not necessary bad or amusing.  I know there have been times I have been so busy with serving that I didn't take the time needed to sit at the feet of Jesus.  I was too tired, too exhausted from much doing to spend the needed time just being. 

"Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me."

Sometimes pressure is unwittingly or purposely put on us to serve beyond our capabilities or beyond healthy balances.  A friend told me yesterday how someone had asked her to serve in a ministry at church. She replied that she didn't have time.  Then the person asking began to tell her all the ways she was serving to attempt to make her feel guilty.   You can say no.

The second point of this line makes me laugh.  Martha was telling Jesus what to do!  She was demanding Jesus do something!  She must have really been stressed.  

"And Jesus answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things." 

How about you?  Are you worried and troubled about many things?  Are you stressed because of all the busyness in your life?  

"But ONE THING is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."

One thing.  Mary sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word.  Mary chose worship.  How long has it been since you just sat at the feet of Jesus in your bedroom and listened to worship music?  How long since you delved into His Word and let His Words soak into your Spirit and revive your soul?  Are you too busy?  Are you distracted?  The Almighty God of the Universe, Creator of all things, Your Creator is longing to spend time with you.

Only one thing is needed.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI_1YliutzA

Christmas in Summer

"For in this hope we were save. But hope that is seen is not hope.  for how can one hope for what he already sees?  But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure."  Romans 8:24-25

We are in a waiting season. 

During Christmas, children are bright-eyed with excitement.  They see all the beautiful wrapped presents and they know there is something good hidden within the colorful wrappings and bows.  They long to peek under the paper to catch a glimpse of the treasures within the decorated packaging.  However eager they are to open the gifts, they have to wait until an appointed time--Christmas morning.  

Like a child at Christmas who knows his parents have something really good for him under the tree, we are waiting with eager anticipation to open the future God has tightly packaged up for us.

We don't know what He has in store for us, but we know it is good (Jeremiah 29:11).

Even though we cannot see what is inside the presents at Christmas, our hearts are full of expectancy of the treasure we know waits inside the box.  That is faith.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Heb 11:1).  We have faith and hopeful expectation that the unseen in the box is a colossal surprise worth the wait!  

We need to be as certain about what the Lord has in store for us when we cannot see all that He has in the box.  He is for us and His plan is good.

Just like we want to give our children presents that will light their eyes up with joy at Christmas, our God wants to surprise us with gifts that will bring joy to our hearts. 

"What man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent?  If then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!"  Matt 7: 9-11

We want to give our children what they ask for at Christmas because it brings us such overwhelming joy to see their face shine when they finally get to open the present they have been waiting for until Christmas morning. Do you think our heavenly Father is any different?

What is it you are waiting for?  What is it you have asked for (according to God's will--all God's promises are His will)?  You may not be able to see the answer at this time, and that is because He has it wrapped up for you until the appointed time--Christmas morning {Let's hope Christmas is this summer}.

Father, we know that all things work together for those who love you and are called according to your purpose.  We know your plans for us are for good and not for evil, to prosper us and not to harm us, we know we can trust you to give us the best for us.  Father, help us wait for what we cannot see with hopeful expectation, patience and composure.  Help us to just trust, be still and know You are God.  And if you don't mind, could we just have a little hint or peek of what is under the wrapping paper?  We love you, in Jesus' Name, Amen. 

Happy Endings

 I am currently leading a facebook small group for Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies with Melissa Taylor.  We are on Chapter 5 of Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles. 

This book was God ordained for this time in my life.  Chapter 5 is no exception. There were so many treasures in this chapter, but if I had to remember only one point, it would be that the Lord remembers.  

In Chapter 5, Tracie explains the story of Hannah from 1 Samuel 1.  If you haven't read the story of Hannah, I encourage you to go and read it now. Hannah's heart desire was for a baby.  She was childless. 

"And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish." 1 Samuel 1:10

"...and the Lord remembered her."  1 Samuel 1:19

I love that..."and the Lord remembered her".

Do you feel as if the Lord has forgotten you?  Hannah may have felt like the Lord had forgotten her and her desire for a child.  He did not forget.  No doubt she had asked the Lord for a child before this day.  What was different about this request?  Desperation. 

There is something powerful that happens when we come to the Lord in desperation. 

Recently, I heard Karen Ellison, the founder of Deeper Still, explain that Jesus didn't go knocking on people's doors asking if He could heal them.  Everyone who received healing from Jesus was desperate and sought Jesus desperately!  When they sought Jesus desperately, He healed every single one who came to Him.  It wasn't even the healing they were seeking, they sought the Healer! 

Hannah was desperate.  Hannah sought the Healer and entreated Him to remember her.  He did. 

What are you desperate for today?  What part of your  life do you need Jesus to touch?  Your marriage?  Health?  Job?   Finances?  Children?  When we finally come to the end of ourselves and realize we cannot fix our problem, and we fall to our knees in desperation, He meets us and touches our lives and heals what only He can heal.

He has not forgotten you. 

Hannah's story has a happy ending and as Tracie wrote "I believe that our heavenly Father wants us all to have happy endings." (pg. 96) 

"As we make faith a priority and learn to trust in God's plans, even if we do not understand them or like them, the doors will be flung wide open for God to enter our lives and begin his mighty work.  During the wait we are called to fall on our knees just like Hannah and pour out our hearts to him.  We are called to live life in a state of dependency on Him, believing that His peace is available in any situation."  (pg. 97) 

The Lord wants us to seek Him.  I need Him to hold me, to protect me, to comfort me, and keep me shielded in His love.  When I curl up in His presence and seek His face, I feel safe, secure, and full of peace. He always guides me.  He always remembers my requests.  He remembers yours also. 

While we are waiting for the positive outcome, we can rest knowing He is working on our happy ending.  Even when the endings don't turn out exactly how we would have written them, we can trust that His ending is better.   We can trust Him for a happy ending.  He writes the best Books! 

Deeper Still

Last weekend I went on a retreat.

The retreat was only about 45 minutes away in Maryville, Tennessee.  Well, it is only 45 minutes away if you aren't directionally challenged.  If you are directionally challenged (ahem...like me), it may take you 2 hours.  {smile}  *sigh*

After I finally figured out the direction I was suppose to be heading, I found myself going up and up a mountain.  The retreat was literally at the top of a mountain overlooking the beautiful Smokey Mountains.

I knew the Lord had led me to go to this retreat, but I wasn't sure why he wanted me there. This retreat was for women who are post-abortive.  If you have read my story at the top of the page, you know that I had an abortion in 1993, when I was 19 years old.  God has led me on a journey of healing and freedom since I rededicated my life to Him in 1998.  It has been a long process, but I felt healed and didn't think I needed any more freedom or healing.

So, why would God lead me to a retreat for more healing when I was already healed?

To go deeper still.  

The name of the ministry and retreat is "Deeper Still".  I didn't realize that when I was driving up to the top of that mountain, that God was also leading me to a spiritual mountaintop experience.

It was as if the mountaintop was a satellite and the atmosphere created a cell phone with a clear signal to hear the Lord.  He didn't have to keep asking, "Can you hear me now?"  I HEARD HIM CLEARLY!! 

I definitely understood how the disciples felt when they were up on the mountaintop with Jesus and they just wanted to stay there and build tents and never come down.

I won't be able to share everything He spoke to me.  I found a deeper healing.  God really did go deeper still.  I am going to share three ways the Lord spoke to me on the mountaintop last weekend.

The first experience was when one of the ministry team members told me my child (whom I aborted) loves me.  Sobbing, I said to the Lord, "How...how could she love me?"  He answered quickly...

"Sue, all she has ever known is My love.  How could she not love you?"  

My heart soaked in His loving response filling a deep wound as I accepted my daughter's love.

Another experience I want to share is a vision God gave me during a time of praise and worship.  Often during praise and worship, I picture myself dancing with Jesus.

In "A Story of Redemption", I share a vision of my daughter dancing with Jesus.  Although, I visualize myself dancing with Jesus and I can envision my daughter dancing with Jesus in heaven, I had never put myself and my daughter in the SAME picture with Jesus.

I had never entered into that picture to be with her.  Before this past weekend, it was too painful.  I felt unworthy to be in the picture, unworthy to hold my daughter, unworthy to dance with her.  During praise and worship up on the mountain,...

the Lord freed me to enter into that picture and dance with my daughter 

and embrace her in my arms with joy.

The third revelation I would like to share has to do with my child's name.  The Lord had revealed to me years ago that my child is a girl and her name is "Kori".   However, she didn't have a middle name.  During the weekend, many of the other participants at the retreat had middle names for their children in heaven.  I spoke to the Lord and said, "Lord, I would like to know my child's middle name."  Almost immediately, the name came...

Danielle. 

Her name is "Kori Danielle".  

With excited anticipation, I looked up the names "Kori" and "Danielle" when I came home from the retreat.

 "Kori" means "God's peace."  Don't you just love that?

However, when I looked up "Danielle",  I was not so excited.  I saw the meaning and I actually kept looking at other baby name websites thinking "Surely it doesn't mean that.  I don't like that.  Maybe I didn't hear from God.  I really don't like that meaning." 

However, all the baby name websites agreed. "Danielle" means "God is our Judge."

I thought "I don't like that meaning, that sounds harsh."  Then I asked the Lord about it. He said,

"I AM your Judge 

and I have found you innocent.  

No one else can judge you.  

And if they try to judge you, 

know that I AM your Judge 

and have found you innocent." 

The name is perfect.  He is perfect.  His love amazes me.  I could tell you even more He revealed to me over that weekend at the Deeper Still Retreat, but it will have to wait for another time.

Beloved friends, if you or anyone you know has had an abortion, I strongly encourage you to visit www.godeeperstill.org .  I thought I was free (I even have a blog about freedom!).  He desires to heal every wounded area of your heart, finish the good work He has begun in you, and set you completely free in Him.
 He loves you so much.

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:1). 

He has removed your sins as far as the east is from the west (Ps 103:12).  

Though your sins were as scarlet, He has made you white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).  

You are a child of the MOST HIGH GOD.  He is your Judge and YOU have been found innocent because of the Blood of Jesus. 

Abandonment {Guest Host: Stephanie Clayton}

I am very excited to introduce a friend to you!  I met Stephanie Clayton at Proverbs 31 Ministries She Speaks Conference in July.  Immediately I felt a connection with this kindred spirit.  Her love for the Lord shines through her!  I know you will be blessed by her post today.  Thank you Stephanie!!! 

Abandonment…

No one likes to feel abandoned. Loneliness can take your breath away…especially when someone leaves and we don’t know why. A void is left.

It doesn’t have to be voluntary. Sometimes we feel abandoned even when someone didn’t leave by choice. Regardless of how they went, there is a hole left to fill. A place they filled for you, and a place you gave to them. Emptiness all over accompanies abandonment. Perhaps that’s why it seems so traumatic. We get in a panic to fill back up…but sometimes the whole gapes a little longer than we want it to.

Love and abandonment are tied very closely. Many times we wonder if we were unlovable…or if we didn’t love enough? Or maybe we “should” have loved differently…or better yet…never loved in the first place…

“The LORD will vindicate me; your love, LORD, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands.” Psalm 138:8

It’s been a while since I have felt the sting of earthly abandonment, but I concern myself with spiritual abandonment daily.

God, if I do not meet your expectations, will you leave me?

God, do I feel depraved because you have finally deemed me unloveable?

God…will you stay with me no matter what?

I know the answers to these questions…yet I doubt…and I catch my heart wondering…looking for love in other places…like FB comments…or texts from friends…

And yet He reminds me…that His love endures forever. That the God shaped hole in my heart will never be left empty and gaping. That there is no wound He cannot bandage and no thirst He cannot quench. He will not abandon me…and I…in all my messy-ness…am a work of HIS hands!

Dear sister, I know the sting of abandonment…it’s a very tricky emotion that leads to wall building. If you have been abandoned, instead of building a wall, open up the well, and let Jesus fill it with living water. The water that does not run dry…the Words of the Savior. He says you’re loveable…and worthy…and His princess…and He speaks the truth. He can’t get over you…He’s smitten with His daughter…the work of His hands.

Stephanie Clayton is a writer, speaker, and counselor with a passion for integrating Bible teaching with professional counseling. She has a Master’s Degree in counseling and a Bachelor’s Degree in psychology. Stephanie uses practical application and insight to help women find freedom from their past, embrace forgiveness, and move forward towards wholeness in Christ. Stephanie is the wife of a police officer and mother of two. She loves JESUS!!!! and a good skinny vanilla latte, bright colors, and fabulous shoes! You can find out more about Stephanie at: www.stephanieclayton.org

A Mother to the Motherless

The relationships we have with our earthly parents speaks volumes to how we relate in life.  It ingrains every fiber of our being and shapes the nature of other relationships in our life.

For many people, the experience with their earthly parents is not a positive nurturing exchange as designed. Many children spend their adult lives seeking healing for wounds inflicted on them by the ones who were created to provide and protect.  If they do not seek healing, they cover up the wounds with various band aids pretending to be fine.  Meanwhile blood is seeping through the band aids into every other area of their life. 

Several months ago I wrote a post that address our Heavenly Father being a father to the fatherless.  If you would like to read it you can click on A Father's Love.  There have been many times I have heard others refer to our Heavenly Father as being a Father to those who were abandoned or felt unloved by their fathers.

However, our heavenly Father is not just a Father to the fatherless, He is a Mother to the motherless.

Can a woman forget her nursing child, 
And not have compassion on the [daughter] of her womb?
Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you.  
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands. Isaiah 49:15-16
 
In our culture today, it is not uncommon for mothers to be distant, negligent, detached, or abusive.  My heart aches over it.  God's heart aches as well. 

God designed woman with a heart of a mother, or a nurturing instinct. 

Even women without natural children have a mother's heart.   Many women believe only natural mothers have a mother's heart.  That is not the case. God created Eve and called her "the mother of all living" before she ever gave birth.  God designs all women with a mother's heart.  God calls us to use our hearts to nurture those He has placed in our care.  We are all God's children, so every single person we come into contact with is a child. 

When a woman suppresses or denies herself of her mother's heart she ultimately abandons her purpose.

Perhaps your mother neglected you, or physically or emotionally abused you.  Perhaps your mother did not care for you as a mother should.  She abandoned her mother's heart for one reason or another.  However, it does not mean you are abandoned. 

You have One who loves you unconditionally.  God says to those who have been left and forgotten,

"Surely they may forget, YET I WILL NOT FORGET YOU."

May those words sink down deep to fill the crevices of neglect. 

May those words be healing ointment in the wounds inflicted by the ammunition of abandonment. 

Let Him be the Mother of your longing.  Allow Him to cradle you as He rocks you in His loving arms and dries years of tears. He compassion never fails.  

Seek healing from the only One who can heal.  Run to Him and let Him bandage your wounds so the healing power in His blood will seep through into every area of your life. 

He is a Mother to the motherless and He has not forgotten you.  You are written on the palms of His hands.

Our Hero

Have anyone ever hurt you?  Perhaps someone who was suppose to love and protect you failed.  Perhaps worse.   Perhaps the person who was designed to defend you deserted, mistreated or abused you?  The broken hearts suffered in a world full of sin can leave one cynical, outraged, and hopeless.

The world is full of carcasses of shattered dreams, stolen innocence, physical oppression, and despondency.

The adversary of this world takes aim to tear down the people of God.  God's most prized creation is his sworn enemy. His ammunition may not be metal bullets or and grenades, but the affects can be just as devastating.

 In this world of chaos and calamity, we need a hero.  We need someone who will come to our defense and save us.  People may intentionally or unintentionally hurt us.  We may even be our own worse enemy at times with poor decisions.  

Our first inclination may be to fight back or to "let them have it".  When we are hurting, we can want to lash out so others will hurt.  If we have hurt ourselves, we may even punish ourselves. 

About a year and a half ago, I was going through a hard time.  Someone I loved hurt me deeply.  For months, I toiled with how to respond.  I was full of unforgiveness and bitterness, although I didn't realize it at the time. 

I wrote this person a letter laying out all the ways they had hurt me and how wrong they had been in their accusations.  I had every intention of mailing this letter to "let them have it", but God intervened. 

God revealed to me the unforgiveness in my heart.  He revealed the bitterness and offense I had allowed to fester until it was a poison running through my veins and out into other areas of my life. 

God opened my eyes and spoke these words...."Let Me defend you."

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.  Ex 14:14

The Lord showed me that the only letter he wanted me to write was one that said, "I have been offended, please forgive me."

God, are you kidding?  I can't write that letter.  You know what that person said to me.  You know how that person hurt me.  God responded again, "Let Me defend you."   

I wish I could say I immediately wrote that letter.  It took weeks of prayer and reading The Bait of Satan by John Bevere to change my heart to the point of complete surrender.  (Great book!  Highly recommend it for dealing with offense.) 

When we hold on to the hurt someone caused us, we cannot forgive them.  Forgiveness gives us freedom from the hurt.  By holding on to the hurt, we are actually harming ourselves.  The person that hurt me didn't cause the poison of unforgiveness and bitterness in me, I did that. 

We have the choice to allow those bullets aimed at us to destroy us or draw us to our Healer. 

Perhaps there is someone you need to forgive today.  Maybe it is someone who caused you a lifetime of hurt.  Maybe it is yourself.   Forgive them.  Forgive yourself.

The Lord has seen the injustice and hurt, and it breaks His heart as well.   Let the Lord defend you.  Let the Lord fight for you.  The battle is His.  We have a hero and He WINS. 

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of flesh; is there anything too hard for me?  Jeremiah 32:27

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped:  therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my son I praise him.  Psalms 28:7

Fear not for I am with you, do not be afraid for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

Happy Leap Day

Today happens only once every four years.  It is special.  Scientifically, it is necessary to keep our calendars in line.  Apparently, according to a leap year expert (not me) we would lose 24 days every 100 years if it weren't for this special day!  So, let's leap! 

There is another who is leaping, but not for the calendar's sake.  He is leaping with joy over you! 

The Lord Your God is in your midst, 

The mighty One will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness.

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.  Zeph 3:17

He will rejoice over you with gladness....

The Hebrew word for rejoice used here is "suws" and it means "to leap, to spring in gladness".   

So, it is really saying that He leaps in joy over you with gladness!

He will rejoice over you with singing....

This word "rejoice" is a different Hebrew word.  It is the word "giyl" and it means " to leap for joy, to go in a circle"! 

Can you imagine God so delighted over YOU that He leaps for joy and then spins around and around in a circle with arms spread out wide.  He dances...twirling and twirling while singing. 

What a wonderful picture! 

He leaps for us!  Let's leap in excitement over His love for us!  I pray this image brings a smile to your face this entire leap day! 

Your God delights in you, rejoices over you, leaps in joy over YOU!  

"That is so Sweet"

Falling in love can be intricate.  At some point, you have to let yourself "fall".  Falling indicates the possibility of getting hurt.  When you give your heart away, there is the risk of a heartbreak.  

This month I have been writing about "Falling in love with Jesus".  In some of the posts, I have used parallels on "falling in love" with my husband. 

After Chris and I had been dating for four weeks, he planned a romantic dinner to celebrate our one month anniversary.   I showed up to his condo for our anniversary dinner a little nervous for some reason. One month is a big milestone (at least it was for me). 

The smell of spagetti was in the air.  All 5 of his roommates were gone for the evening (I'm pretty sure he paid them off).  We were in the kitchen while the noodles finished softening.  While we were waiting in the kitchen, he pulled out a gift to give to me.  A bear with a heart on it that said "I Love You". 

Now, neither of us had yet uttered those three little yet potent words.  Was he saying he loved me?  Yes, because after he gave me the bear, he said the words. 

I stood there staring. Frozen.  For Chris, I'm sure it felt like an eternity.  After I had a moment to process, I responded in a way he probably wasn't anticipating.

I took the bear and with a smile said....."That is so sweet."

(Not the response he was hoping for, I'm sure.)  Can somebody say, "Awkward"? 

We went about our anniversary dinner trying to pretend that didn't just happen.

You see, I was terrified of falling in love.  Also, I was skeptical.  Others had told me they loved me and really didn't.  My heart was a bruised and wounded mess by the time Chris found me. I didn't know how many more breaks it could bear.  Those words get thrown around so much that many in the world have no concept of what love really entails.  I wanted to be sure.  I didn't want to say it unless I was sure I meant it. 

I finally did tell him.....two weeks later!  You know those were a LONG two weeks. 

God also gave us a gift to show us He loved us.  The gift He gave us was Jesus and the cross with "I love you" written in bold bloodstained letters. 

"But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Chris died for us."  Romans 5:8

How do we respond?  Do we respond with "That is so sweet." 

That is how many in the world respond to God's gift.  They hear the story of Jesus and think, "That is so sweet"  and then go on about their lives with nothing changing. 

They too may be terrified of falling in love.  After all, that would mean sacrifices on their part, that would mean risk.  Anything deeper would require a profound response.  

Perhaps they are skeptical.  Maybe they aren't sure they believe Jesus died on the cross for them or that God really loves them.  They have been conditioned by the media and even some Christians to believe God is out to get them.  Why would they believe He loves them or trust Him? If that is you, I am here to set the record straight.  God is not out to get you, He loves you.

However, the real question we need to ask today is how do we respond to the gift God gave us.  Do we respond with a "That is so sweet"?

The gift of Jesus' blood on the cross writing out "I Love You" demands more than a "That is so sweet" response.  Be bold for Him.  Love Him.  

Perhaps your heart is a bruised and wounded mess and risking one more heartache is almost too much to bear.  Risk it.  Fall.  I promise He will catch you.  I promise you can trust Him with your heart.  He won't break it, He will heal it. 

He gave His life for us.  Let's respond by giving Him ours, completely.  Are there things in your life you need to give up to completely live for Him?  Is there sin you need to surrender to Him?  Say, "I love you" back to Him, don't be afraid.  Give Him everything.  Let yourself fall in love. 

Love Pursues

Don't forget to register for the giveway of the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers  It is the best love story and book (outside the Bible) that I have EVER read!  I am so excited to share it with you!  You can register by
1. Liking or commenting on my blog on facebook
2. Becoming a new follower of my blog
3. Sharing my blog on facebook (just be sure to let me know if you do either #2 or #3 so I don't miss you!
4. Commenting on the blog

I will close the registration on Thursday at midnight and announce the winner on Friday. 

"Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away!  O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."

This quote above is not from the latest Twilight book or romance novel.  It is from Song of Songs 2:13-14 in the Bible. 

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.  A day of romance, a day set apart to celebrate love.  Perhaps you had a romantic evening with the one you love or.... perhaps not.  Chris and I plan to have a date night this weekend.  He was romantic, though.  He gave me a beautiful necklace.  Thank you, Honey!  

Did you know you have a God who not only adores you, but is also romantic?  This book of Song of Songs in the Bible is pretty racy actually.  You may *blush* while reading it.  You will also hear the voice of the Lord in it.  You will hear Him pouring out His heart to you.  You will hear Him romancing you.  You will hear Him pursuing you. 

Love pursues.  

Last night and this morning, God led me to read the whole book of Hosea. I have to admit, I don't remember reading the whole book before and I haven't heard much, if any, teaching on it.  The first exposure I had to this book was when I heard that the book I am giving away this week, "Redeeming Love", was inspired by it. That information peaked my curiosity about it. 

In the book of Hosea, the Lord instructs Hosea to marry a prostitute.  Hosea loves this woman even when she returns to a life of prostitution again and again.  Hosea loves this woman who is unfaithful to Him and betrays Him and His love.  He pursues her and brings her back and loves her.  How many men would really do that?  Perhaps Hosea stands alone on that one.  Alone with Christ.  
 
Can I tell you what I hear when I read Hosea?  I hear the Lord, crying out to His people to turn back to Him.  I hear the Lord heartbroken over those He loves who refuse to love Him in return.  I hear the Lord pursuing the people He loves.  

Our God continues to pursue us, to draw us to Him.  He longs for us to be close to Him and stay faithful.  He desires greater intimacy with us.  He wants us to be abandoned to Him and His love rather than loving the things and pursuits this world has to offer. 

God is pursuing you, He is inviting you to come away with Him, to go to higher levels with Him in the clefts of the rocks.  He is longing to hear your voice, for you to seek His face. Will you answer Him?  Will you pursue Him?

Wild Ride

On Monday, I shared a little bit about how Chris (my husband) and I met.  If you are interested, I thought I would share a little more about that story today.  (I love a good love story, don't you?)

For those of you who have been to Disney World in the past, do you remember "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride"?  It isn't there anymore, for good reason--no one remembers the cartoon.  It is now the "Winnie the Pooh" ride.  A much better use of space.  However,  those cues lines will also hold a special place in my heart.  It was in those cue lines that I realized Chris was a gem.  (Waiting in line has its advantages--there is often purpose in the waiting.) The "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" revelation happened during that first week I mentioned on Monday.

So, you may be wondering....what could have happened in a cue line?  He listened to me.  He showed interest in me. He asked me questions about me.  Most of the guys and people I had met, talked more than they listened.  It was clear, He wanted to know me.  It was the turning point for me as seeing him as more than just a guy with a Frat hat.

Do you know that you have a God that is interested in you?

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.   Matt 10:30

The God of the Universe cares about every hair on your head.  He cares about your deepest desires.  He cares about your darkest fears.  He cares about your innermost heartaches.  He knows all you have been through.  He saw you and knew you before you were even born (Jeremiah 1:5).  He had you in mind before the foundations of the world!

Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love.  Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ.  (What a pleasure he took in planning this!)  Ephesians 1:4-5 (MSG)

Most people have heard about Jesus.  They know a little about Him or at least they think they do.  They may just look at Him as just another religious figure or guy with a white robe and long hair that wants to tell them how to run their life.  My heart breaks for them.  Jesus is more than just a guy in a white robe. 

He is standing next to you in the cue line for the wildest ride we could ever imagine on earth, much wilder than Mr. Toad's!  ; )  He is waiting for you to get on the ride with Him.  He wants you to know He is interested in you.  He wants you to know Him.  Talk to Him.  Let Him listen to you.  Abandon yourself to the wildest ride and greatest love you will ever know. 

First Love

The summer of 1995 was undoubtedly the best summer of my life.  It was the summer I worked at Disney World on the College Program.  It was days of endless magic, a bit of work, but mostly magic.  It was also the summer I met the earthly love of my life.

A friend I had met only hours earlier invited me to go out to lunch.  Excited to make new friends, I eagerly accepted.  When he came over to pick me up, he brought his roommate....Chris.

I wish I could say it was love at first sight and birds and forest animals were singing as we sang a romantic duet (isn't that what happens in most Disney Fairytales?).   No, actually at first, I didn't like him.  He was wearing a hat boasting his fraternity.  Frat guy - one strike against him. (I know...don't judge a book by it's cover or a guy by his hat.)  He made fun of what I ordered- strike two.  Thankfully, there wasn't a third strike that day.  I did think he was cute.  : ) I left that lunch thinking I would never see him again.

However, God had other plans.  I did see him again the very next day and practically every day for the first week!  By the end of that first week, I was falling for him.  A week after that first unimpressive encounter, it was my birthday.  He wooed me by showing up after a long day at work with a rose, a single rose.  I saw him from afar, at the end of the long street lined with dance clubs and restaurants.  In the midst of a sea of people, I saw only him and the rose.  A rose I knew was for me..... 

There is more to this story that I will leave for another time, but we started dating a week after my 21st birthday.  That whole summer, I would wake up filled with anticipation.  Something exciting is happening in my life.  I get to see Chris today!   I was overflowing with joy.  It was magical. I was in love (I still am).

There is nothing like that  feeling of when we first fall in love.  You know the feeling...butterflies, excitement that can barely be contained, joyful anticipation and expectation.  It is euphoric!

That is how the Lord wants us to feel about Him.  He wants us to remember our first love. 

....I have this against you, that you have left your first love.   Rev 2:4

 Do you wake up each day full of excitement and anticipation because you have a Savior that ADORES you?!  The God of the Universe is enthralled with your beauty!  Do you have butterflies and long to spend time in His presence?  If not, that is ok.  That is why I am doing this series.  Jesus is so in love with you.  He is there longing to woo you, to draw you to Him.  As you spend time with Him, you will fall for Him. 

Can you see Him standing in the distance holding out a rose- a rose that is for you.   Your Prince is calling. He is drawing you near.  Run to Him.   

Father's Love

Last night, all I wanted to do was curl up on my Daddy's lap and have Him hold me with His tender loving arms.  The Daddy I am referring to is not my earthly Dad, but my Heavenly Father.  I cannot say why (literally, I do not know) that was my earnest desire.  I felt distant.  I felt withdrawn.  I felt broken.

Maybe the reason for my plight was that of being a woman.  A woman torn in all different directions.  The demands of this world pressing down like a boulder.  I am still just a girl, just a little girl in need of her Father's love.

No matter how strong a woman seems to be, she still needs love.  Many women hide their need under a hard calloused shell to protect themselves due to past wounds that still desperately need healing.  The shell doesn't cause the need to be any less.  

As I sat curled up, I let Him hold me.  I let Him love and comfort me.  I need Him.  The enemy whispers don't tell them...don't let them know your weaknesses.  Is it a weakness to admit I need Him?  Or is it a strength?

Jesus, I need you.  I pray for my love for you to never grow cold.  I pray for my compassion for a lost and dying world to never run dry.  I pray for you to fill me with your love, to fill me with living water that flows from me continuously.  

The Lord has appeared of old to me saying: Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3


I am thankful to be blessed with an earthly father and husband that do love me, but I know that is not the case for everyone.   Your Heavenly Father loves you so much.  No matter what your relationship is like with your earthly father, you have a Heavenly Father whose love is unfailing.  No matter what your relationship is like with your husband, you have a Bridegroom that rejoices over you.

If you are in need of love, I encourage you to climb up on His lap and let Him hold you with comforting arms of everlasting love.

I am going to be doing a series on Falling in Love with Jesus this month (the "love" month).   May we never forget our First Love. 

He Knows Your Name

One of the greatest compliments I have heard someone say about someone was said this past week.  My friend, Julia, wrote on her blog Fuel for the Marathon Called Life a compliment about a dear man of God who passed away last week.

She wrote  "It was just before this man's death that I thought to myself how much I'd love to get to know him better.  Though I did not have much interaction with him, he knew my name!  If I was around him and his family in church, I would make sure to greet him, just so that I could hear him say my name."

There is something powerful about someone knowing our name.  It signifies that we are valued, that we have significance, that someone cares about us enough to know us.  Our friend loved people and made them feel valued.  What a tremendous compliment! 

This trait is godly, it is Christ-like.

The God of the Universe knows you by name.  He values you, He loves you, He treasures you.  You are significant to Him, He cares about every detail in your life.  He knows us and longs for us to know Him more. 

You said, 'I know you by name and you have also found favor in My sight.'  Ex 33:12

And the Lord said to Moses, 'I will do this thing also that you have asked, for you have found favor, loving-kindness, and mercy in My sight and I know you personally and by name.  Ex 33:17(italics added)


This was not some special privilege that only Moses could claim.  The Lord knows YOU by name, the Lord speaks your name.  The Lord knows you personally.  You are valued, you are loved.  Value is determined by cost.  He paid a dear and precious price for you.  Christ went to the cross for YOU.

Knowing someone's name and calling them by name indicates that they matter to you.  When we forget someone's name, we know it can be awkward to ask them again.  Why?  Because we know it may offend them.  We know we should remember, that it is important to remember.

So, I ask myself, how am I doing in this area?  Do I know all the people in my life that I see frequently by name?  Do I call people by name?  You never know what a difference it will make.  Julia looked forward to seeing him because he knew her name.  He valued her as a child of God.

Our friend understood the gift of valuing people, of calling them by name.  What an extraordinary gift, what a legacy to leave, what a Christ-like example....He knew my name.