Tuesday, November 12, 2013
God, What are You Doing?
God spoke a word to me at the beginning of this year. The word He had for me was NEWNESS.
I even wrote a post about it at the beginning of January. You can click http://www.livingfreeinhim.blogspot.com/2013/01/happy-newness-year.html to read it.
I had no idea of the pronounced prophetic qualities of that word . Newness has truly defined this year.
It was about that time that God began stirring in my heart and my husband's heart that He wanted us to leave our home church that we had been a part of and active members in for thirteen years! Our church was like a family to us and we loved the people there so much (still do). Months of prayer and fasting followed with intermittent whispers, God, what are you doing?
In March, we were still praying about leaving our church and desperately attempting to discern the voice of God. Then, suddenly our children's pastors whom our family dearly loves announced to us that they were being called to move to Nashville to be children's pastors at a church in Nashville. Pastor Doug and Paul Anne were not just our children's pastors, they were also our neighbors for 6 years, mentors, and one of our closest friends. Again...God, what are you doing?
April came. We were still praying about leaving our church home. Then, my husband and I received notice on the same day that we were both going to be losing our jobs! Did you see that? On. The. Same. Day! That doesn't just happen. That never happens. We work for two completely different companies in two totally separate professions! CRAZY! GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I fasted. He spoke.
"I am doing a NEW thing."
Then, He led me to Isaiah 43:19 (the same verse I had written in the Newness post in January, only I didn't realize it was the same verse until today when I wrote this!)
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19
We did not know what God was doing, all we knew was to hold on to the truth he spoke to us..."I am doing a new thing."
In April, I also attend the Deeper Still Retreat. Life-changing. This retreat began a new level of intimacy in my relationship with Jesus with a depth I had never experienced prior to going. Newness. My Awesome God, what are you doing?
In May, I was asked to join the Deeper Still Ministry Team and write devotions for the ministry. This new calling and ministry in my life has been a huge blessing!
In June, my husband and I made our decision to leave our home church. It was by far one of the hardest decisions we have ever made. We were rooted there, in leadership and had wonderful friends and relationships we cherished (still cherish). However, God had clearly spoken to us. For months we were distraught and struggled with this decision and the leading we were sensing. The moment we drew the line and made a decision...peace. God was doing a new thing.
Only, He didn't tell us everything. He didn't tell us where we were to go. He only said go. If you recall from scripture, this isn't the first time He has just said "go" but didn't give details. We knew if we stepped out in faith, He would show us the next steps. He always does. He did.
Many friends did not understand our decision and perhaps think we were offended by something or someone. This is not the case. We left in good standing and our former Pastors hugged us when we left. To those friends, if any are reading this.. We love you and miss you dearly. We would love to hear from you.
My job ended the last part of May and Chris' job ended June 30.
I had been in my previous job for 10 years. I started a new job working with a new age group of clients than in my previous job and Chris began a new job that mixed his love for logistics and sales together! Only God!
We also found a new church that we really like. And do you know the scripture the pastor there was speaking on when we visited? Isaiah 43:19. We still do not quite know all God is doing with that move, but we know He will reveal it in His timing.
Many times during this year I have asked, "God, what are you doing?"
I discerned that losing our jobs and leaving the church was not the enemy, it was the Lord doing something new. I never once doubted we had heard him correctly. Even though we were surprised by all these changes, we took comfort in knowing that God was not surprised by any of it. He knew it would happen and He knew what was ahead for us. He knew what needed to be done to re-position us for whatever is coming next. He knows what is next.
When we KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is for us, that He is with us, and that He will move mountains for us, we can rest and trust in Him even when it appears we are in a wilderness or desert.
God answered me after one of the many times I questioned Him with:
"I know you don't understand all these changes. I know you don't understand what is going on and what I am doing. However, I am asking you to trust me. Will you trust me? This will end well and for my glory."
Yes God. I trust You.
I held onto that promise when both of us were out of work and the future was uncertain. I held onto that promise when we were without a church and felt "homeless" and out of touch. I held onto that promise many times during the last several months. God is faithful and I know His plan is best. Sometimes it may seem like God is leading us out in wilderness, but He knows the path and where He is taking us. We just need to trust.
He will make a road in the wilderness and streams in the desert. He will water the ground making it fruitful and provide a clear path for us to take. He will never leave us to wonder in the wilderness.
He is indeed doing a new thing this year. In many ways, this has been a very hard year. However, it has been one of the best years in terms of spiritual growth and closeness with my Heavenly Father. Newness and change are not always easy, but we can be sure that when God is doing something new, it is good.
We can trust that it will end well and for His glory.