"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4
This morning was not much different than other mornings. Getting three kids ready for school and out the door with teeth and hair brushed and backpacks with lunches all make for some hectic mornings. We left a little later than usual due to some last minute homework I realized I forgot to do with my kindergartener. We rushed through the homework and raced to the van. Off we went, a little late, but we were on target to still make it on time! Then....the bus.
A small bus stops on our street everyday. The bus driver must be very friendly because she stops and talks to the parents for what seems like long periods of time. There have been many times I have patiently waited for them to finish up the conversation and the red sign to disappear allowing passage.
I am embarrassed to say, not this morning.
Again, the parent was outside talking to the driver and the red sign was out. No kids to be seen anywhere. All were on the bus! Why is the red sign out? Doesn't she realize I need to get through? What about me and where I need to go?! Doesn't she know I am running late? Wow, there were a lot of I 's in those thoughts.
So this morning, I crept up behind the bus. Surely this will send her a hint. Instead, it backfired. She gave me an irritated look and firmly put her hand out the window indicating that I needed to stop. So, I did what I though best and gave my horn a good honk and pointed that she need to move (like I was from New York or something.) I seriously cannot believe I am sharing this with you! Will y'all still love me?
She finally did move, but I knew I shouldn't have honked at the small bus. What kind of small person honks at a small bus?
There is only one reason why I honked at the bus. Pride. Nasty, ugly pride. I guess pride is the reason God is having me share this story. I need humility. I need to think of others as higher than myself. The reason I got irritated this morning (other than that we were running late), was I was putting my needs ahead of others.
Maybe the kids weren't seated yet and she had to wait. Maybe the parent is going through a difficult time and she was offering words of encouragement. Maybe she is going through something hard and the parent was sharing God's Word with her. I don't know and who am I to think me passing through is more important.
I wrote the other day that I didn't think I had control issues. However, this morning I wanted control. I wanted my own way instead of trusting God. The delay could have been the Lord protecting me from an accident. There could be something greater at work than just a bus stopping traffic.
When we seek to control. Pride.
We want our own way. Pride.
When we feel others are inconveniencing us. Pride.
"Let us not only look out for our own interests, but for the interests of others." Putting others first. This is a lesson I want to teach my children. I need to live it for them to learn it. Unfortunately, I let pride get the better of me today and chose honking over humility.
I think this will make a good devotional tonight for them. Hopefully, they can learn from mommy's mistakes. I pray next time I will choose humility over honking.