A Mother to the Motherless

The relationships we have with our earthly parents speaks volumes to how we relate in life.  It ingrains every fiber of our being and shapes the nature of other relationships in our life.

For many people, the experience with their earthly parents is not a positive nurturing exchange as designed. Many children spend their adult lives seeking healing for wounds inflicted on them by the ones who were created to provide and protect.  If they do not seek healing, they cover up the wounds with various band aids pretending to be fine.  Meanwhile blood is seeping through the band aids into every other area of their life. 

Several months ago I wrote a post that address our Heavenly Father being a father to the fatherless.  If you would like to read it you can click on A Father's Love.  There have been many times I have heard others refer to our Heavenly Father as being a Father to those who were abandoned or felt unloved by their fathers.

However, our heavenly Father is not just a Father to the fatherless, He is a Mother to the motherless.

Can a woman forget her nursing child, 
And not have compassion on the [daughter] of her womb?
Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you.  
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands. Isaiah 49:15-16
 
In our culture today, it is not uncommon for mothers to be distant, negligent, detached, or abusive.  My heart aches over it.  God's heart aches as well. 

God designed woman with a heart of a mother, or a nurturing instinct. 

Even women without natural children have a mother's heart.   Many women believe only natural mothers have a mother's heart.  That is not the case. God created Eve and called her "the mother of all living" before she ever gave birth.  God designs all women with a mother's heart.  God calls us to use our hearts to nurture those He has placed in our care.  We are all God's children, so every single person we come into contact with is a child. 

When a woman suppresses or denies herself of her mother's heart she ultimately abandons her purpose.

Perhaps your mother neglected you, or physically or emotionally abused you.  Perhaps your mother did not care for you as a mother should.  She abandoned her mother's heart for one reason or another.  However, it does not mean you are abandoned. 

You have One who loves you unconditionally.  God says to those who have been left and forgotten,

"Surely they may forget, YET I WILL NOT FORGET YOU."

May those words sink down deep to fill the crevices of neglect. 

May those words be healing ointment in the wounds inflicted by the ammunition of abandonment. 

Let Him be the Mother of your longing.  Allow Him to cradle you as He rocks you in His loving arms and dries years of tears. He compassion never fails.  

Seek healing from the only One who can heal.  Run to Him and let Him bandage your wounds so the healing power in His blood will seep through into every area of your life. 

He is a Mother to the motherless and He has not forgotten you.  You are written on the palms of His hands.

A Confident Heart {Week 1}

This week was the first week of the my Proverbs 31 online "Gather and Grow" study of A Confident Heart by Renee Swope.

If you are not reading along with us, you are still welcome to just read the commentaries every Thursday here and comment.  You are also welcome to start reading the book and jump in at any time!  It is a great book! 

We read the following Chapters this week:

Chapter 1:  Discovering the Shadow of My Doubts

Chapter 2:  Because God's Love is Perfect, I Don't Have to Be

In Chapter 1, Renee describes how one day while she was getting ready for a speaking engagement, her self-doubt caused her to second guess her calling. Then, she noticed her enormous nine foot shadow on the wall!

"Just like my shadow on the wall was distorting my shape, my doubt was distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions.  The shadow of doubt had become bigger than what I doubted --myself. " pg. 21

God then spoke to her and said, "You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light.  Turn back toward the light." pg. 22

Just like her distorted shadow lied about her image, doubt lies to us.  It creates an image of ourselves in our heads that is contrary to what God says about us.

Doubt says, "You can't do it."
God says, "You can do all things through Christ." Phil 4:13

Doubt says, "You are alone."
God says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Heb 13:5

Doubt says, "You will fail."
God says, "You are more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus." Romans 8:37

Don't listen to doubt.  It will lie every time.

Isaiah 49:23 reminds us, "Then you will know that I am the Lord. Those who hope in me will not be disappointed."  

God will not disappoint us. Hope in the Lord.  Choose hope instead of doubt.

Sometimes people will say, "I doubt that" about a good thing that may happen.  Instead we need to say, "I believe that!"  Choose hope. 

Another lie the enemy tries to defeat us with is:  My worth is related to my performance.

In Chapter Two, Renee explained how she grew up on a performance-based value system.  She felt like she could never measure up.  Her value was based on how well she performed.

Renee writes, "Oh how I longed for someone to see past the exterior facade and look into the secret places of my heart.  I wanted to be known and loved for who I was." pg 33

Renee discussed the Samaritan woman at the well  (John 4).  Jesus saw past her exterior facade.  Jesus saw past her past and saw her.  He offered to meet her deepest need and longing...to fill her empty places, to give her "Living Water" so she would never thirst again.

She had nothing to offer Jesus.  She couldn't earn acceptance from Him.  He freely gave it.

Jesus went out of His way that day to meet that woman.  He knew she would be there. He knew her needs.  He knew her heart.  I love this line from Renee's book, 

"Let this truth sink in, my friend: wherever you are, He wants to meet you there." pg 37

Jesus, the One who knows us completely, wants us to trust Him with our failures.  Will you let yourself be real with Him?  Give Him your deepest hurts.  Give Him your deepest longings.  Let Him meet you where you are and let Him fill our empty places with His Living Water. 

Reflection and Discussion Questions:

1. What do you think hinders you most from living with God-confidence on a consistent basis?  Which of the following promises speaks to your greatest need right now?

"Those who hope in me will not be disappointed." Is 49:23
"See, I am doing a new thing!" Is 43:19
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  (Rom. 8:28)
"All things are possible to [her] who believes." (Mark 9:23)

2. Jeremiah 17:7 says, "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord."  What does this verse promise and encourage you to do ?  Think of one situation where you could live in the power of this promise and describe what that would look like this week.  

3.  Is there one lesson learned this week that you will walk away with and hold on to so that you can live in the security of God's approval and acceptance?  




Next week, we will read Chapters 3 and 4.  We will meet back here on Thursday again! 

Natural Highlights

This is Sarah.

Sarah is my precious five year old daughter.

The reason for the picture is that I want you to take notice of the blonde highlights in her hair.

You would be surprised how many times I have been asked if I highlight her hair.  I am always so surprised by the question!  A couple of weeks ago, I had three people ask me in just one week!

I always tell them with a smile, "No, her highlights are all natural.  They are God-given highlights."

I also have highlights.  My highlights are..ummm...not natural.  My highlights are Debbie Barnes-given.  Thank you Debbie!  My blonde highlights have the important job of.....ahem.... concealing the grays.   

Wouldn't it be great to have beautiful natural highlights like Sarah?  Her hair shines!  Her spirit does too. 

Arise, shine; For your light has come! 
And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. 

For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth,
And deep darkness the people; 

But the Lord will arise over you.  
And His glory will be seen upon you.

The Gentiles shall come to your light, 
And kings to the brightness of your rising.  Isaiah 60:1-3

Does that bring joy to your spirit as it does mine?!  The GLORY of the Lord is upon us!  His light makes us shine in a dark world.  HIS GLORY will be seen on YOU!  

No matter how dark the world is or how dark things may seem all around you, He says He will arise over you.  He will make His glory SHINE on you!

The light that shines on you will attract the lost!  The lost will be drawn to His glory in you!  Oh, I love this!!  My heart rejoices at the thought!  

We also have God-given highlights!  Hallelujah!  My gray has nothing on His glory!  

Praise the Lord for our natural highlights!  



 

A Confident Heart Introduction

Today is the start of the study of A Confident Heart by Renee Swope. 

As heirs according to the promise of God, we have been given confidence through Jesus Christ (Gal 3:29).

The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.  Romans 8:16-17 

The world defines "confidence" as "having self-reliance" (Merriam-Webster). 

The Biblical view of "confidence" is not about self, it is about having confidence in the Creator of self.

As heirs in Christ, God desires that we lack nothing, including confidence (1Thess 4:12). 

By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us, O God of our salvation, You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth.  Psalms 65:5

As we cry out to God for a confident heart, He will answer us. 


The word "confidence" above comes from the Hebrew word mibtach and means:  Trust.  Object of confidence.  State of Confidence. Security. 

Jesus is our object of confidence.  Jesus is our security. 

He is the confidence of all the earth!  He is our confidence!  He is your confidence! 

This week with will be studying:

Chapter 1: Discovering the Shadow of My Doubts and
Chapter 2: Because God's Love is Perfect, I Don't Have to Be

We will meet back here on Thursday for my commentary and discussion.  There are about twenty ladies meeting on a private facebook page as well for discussion. 

If you did not get on the private facebook page or are just joining us, I'm sorry to say the page is now closed but you are welcome to comment here.

You can buy the book at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any Christian book store. 

I am looking forward to all God will show us and do over the next six weeks as we find our confidence in Him and develop "A Confident Heart".  

Dear Lord God,  I am so thankful for all these ladies studying your Word.  Thank you, Lord, that You alone are our confidence.  Thank you, Lord, that because we are in Christ, we can have a confident heart.  Help us to fully develop our confidence and security in You, and to be free from self-doubt.  Speak to our hearts this week.  We thank you that you are here with us as we study your Word.  You are our confidence. 
In Jesus' Holy and precious name.  Amen.

Hidden Messes

Upstairs we have a bonus room.  This room serves as a play room for our three energetic kids to run, play and...well, be kids. When you have three kids, you accumulate toys without even trying.  We give them away, but the toys seem to multiply.  I like all the toys to have "a home", a place where they rest when  not being used for play. However, when three kids pick up the toyroom, the toys don't always make it back to their "home".  Sometimes, they hide in a closet, or under a bed.  Often times, however, they are just put in the wrong box. 

To look at the room, it might look like everything is picked up.  It is only when one starts looking in closets and under the beds that the truth is revealed.

Every few months I reach a point where I can not stand it any longer!  At that time, we take all the toys out of their hiding places and put them out in the open center of the room to sort.  We take the stuff out of the hiding places to deal with the mess.  Then, I help the kids clean it all up.

We deal with the broken toys, the junk, and put the rest back where it goes.  

This picture was taken in April during the last sorting.

We too have hidden messes.   We have messes hidden in our hearts we don't want to address. We stuff the junk into a closet or under the bed and think, "I'll deal with that later.  It is too much to sort through right now. "

We may look "all picked up", but underneath our tidy exterior, lies the truth. 

Sometimes we don't even know the issues in our hearts.  God hides them from us until He is ready for us to deal with our stuff.

If He hauled out all of our hidden junk at once, we would become too overwhelmed to deal with any of it!  

He waits.  He reveals the hidden messes for us to sort through one piece at a time.  He brings out into the open areas of our hearts we didn't even know needed healing.  And the good news is, He will be by our side to help, to heal.   

God knows our hearts.  He knows the areas that are broken or wounded.  He knows what needs to be removed.  He knows what areas of our hearts need cleaning.

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.  You know my sitting down and my rising up;  You understand my thought away off.  You comprehend my path and my lying down.  And are acquainted with all my ways.  For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.  

Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as day; 
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.  Psalms 139:1-4, 12

He reveals and then He heals.  He puts our hearts back together.  He puts the pieces all back in the proper place to make them whole.  However, we have to allow Him to show us the mess.  We cannot keep it hidden in the closet refusing to deal with it or our hearts will never be healed.  We must allow Him to bring it out in the open.  

Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; Save me and I shall be saved, For You are my praise.
Jeremiah 17:14

It may seem easier to just leave the mess.  It may seem easier to just keep it hidden away.  It is. 

It is easier to keep the door closed and pretend the mess isn't there. 

Do we want easy or do we want freedom?  Dealing with messes and broken pieces may be work, but the end result is worth any amount of discomfort involved.  Trust me, I know.

Will you ask God to reveal the hidden messes of your heart that need healing?  He will put it in its proper "home", which is in Him.  He takes the mess and gives us a beautiful heart in exchange (Is 61:3).
 

One of "Those" Days {Part 2}

The other day, I wrote about a day last week that qualified as "One of 'Those' Days".  Click on the blue to read it if you missed it.

At the end of the previous post, I had just forgotten my wallet after shopping for school supplies for three children, had the ATM refuse my request twice before processing it, and was running late to church.

Note to self:  Don't ever go to Walmart before church!  

I had maintained composure during the entire ordeal at Walmart, but was on the edge of losing it towards the end of the trip.  Thankful to have left Walmart with school supplies and seemingly passed the test, I headed to church with my darling five year old Sarah. 

I was scheduled to be in charge of our children's department that night.  All the regular "in charge" people were at camp with most of the kids.  However, there was children's church that night for the kids who didn't go to camp and they needed someone to lead.

I arrived at church a little late as explained.  However, not too late and there were only a couple kids waiting.  "This is ok.  I am here now and everything is fine,"  I thought as I sighed another sign of relief.

Then, my sweet Sarah started crying.  She didn't want to go to her class.  She didn't want to leave her mamma. 

 You have got to be kidding me!  She never does this, not now! 

She clenched my leg with all her might.  It is surprising how strong a 40 pound five year old can be when it comes to holding onto her mamma.

Now, I know I am suppose to be a sweet mamma.  I know I am suppose to be patient, loving, and understanding.

But Walmart. And the school supplies. The missing wallet. The stubborn ATM machine. And now this!

Yes, I was still in my test and I regret to say... I did not pass.  

In that moment of the test, when I was tempted to lose my patience, I had a choice.  I could have chosen to be patient with Sarah (yielding to the Holy Spirit) or I could lose my patience (give into my flesh). 

"Yield" means to surrender or submit to another.   

We have to decide in our "those" moments (the "everything is going wrong" moments) to whom we will yield (or submit to)--the Holy Spirit or our flesh.  The flesh is our old sinful nature. 

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.  For to be carnally minded is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.  So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.  Romans 8:5-8

I mess up.  I messed up that night.  I let my emotions rule instead of yielding to the Spirit of God inside me.  The good news is that God does give us the ability to follow the Spirit instead of our flesh. 

The Spirit also helps in our weaknesses.  Romans 8:26 

In those moments of weakness, we can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond correctly.  He will.

We have a battle going on inside us.  It is our flesh versus our spirit.  Our spirit is made new when we received Jesus.  Jesus comes to live inside us, the Holy Spirit lives inside us.  He is our new nature.  However, we still have our old nature (the flesh) hanging around. 

Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.  Galations 5:16-17

Whatever you feed becomes stronger.

Feed your Spirit with the Word of God.  Pray.  Memorize the Word so resides inside you.  As you do these things, your Spirit becomes stronger and your flesh becomes weaker. 

Does it mean you will never give into your flesh?  No. We are human.  We sin.  We fail.  However, it does mean that the next time you have one of "those" days, you will be better equipped to respond like Christ.

I know I need Him.  I pray that next time I am tempted to lose my patience with one of my kids, that I would walk according to the Spirit and not give into my flesh. 

How about you?  Have you ever had one of "those" days?  How did you respond?  Did the Holy Spirit help you?

 



 

One of "Those" Days

Thank you to all how entered to win A Confident Heart by Renee Swope!  The winner was randomly selected by www.random.org.  And the winner is..........BECKY C.!!! 

I will get the book to you Becky!! 

One of "Those" Days

The other day was one of "those" days.  

You know...the kind when several things go wrong all in a row and you are praying and doing all you can do to keep yourself together.  Do you ever have one of those days?  Maybe it is just me.  

With only one hour, I was determined to get school supplies checked off my list.   Surely one hour was enough time to shop for school supplies at Walmart.  Yes, I know that may not have been the wisest decision.  Did I mention I was shopping for school supplies for three children, all with different lists? 

Thankfully, I only had one of the three children with me that day.

I am sure you can picture it...

Going in and out of aisles, searching for scissors, crayons, folders, dry erase markers, etc.  Of course, it seems there are always items on the list that aren't considered actual "school supplies" and they are  completely separate on the other side of the store.  It seems there are always two or three items that refuse to be found.  

I miraculously find all the items in the hour allocated and jet to the checkout. Time running short, but only one lady in front of me.  No problem, I should be fine. 

Wait!  Pencils!  I didn't get enough pencils.  Placing the other items on the conveyor, I ask the cashier if I can run and get some more pencils.  She graciously agreed.  So Sarah and I jolt back to the school supplies.  Got them!  Back to the cashier.

She had just started ringing up the items.  With all the items now in the cart, she tells me my total.  I dig in my purse to find my wallet.  No credit cards! Oh no!  I had left my credit cards at home in the swim bag.  

My heart starts pounding.  Please, no!  I look in my purse again.  

Thoughts start to fill my mind, "An hour.  All those school supplies.  Do I have to reshop for all these supplies?!" 

Ok, Lord. Please help me.  If this is happening, it is probably a test.  Sue, you must need this.  Stay cool. 

Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  

But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.  James 1:2-4

Can I tell you, that "joy" was not my first response when I realized I left my credit cards at home! 

What can I do?  Thankfully, I remembered that I did have my ATM card in my purse.  There was an ATM machine in the Walmart.  The cashier graciously waited while I hustled to the ATM.  

I requested the desired amount.  The words "I'm sorry we were not able to process your request", appeared on the screen.  Again, my heart raced.  I tried the card again.  The words appeared again.  I tried another time, (please let it work) and this time it processed.  Sighing a sigh of relief, I  snatched up the cash and went back to the cashier.  

I paid for the school supplies.  Sarah and I raced to the car.  I was now running a little late due to the forgetting my wallet ordeal.  

Next stop...church.  : )  

Isn't it interesting that many of these kinds of instances happen right before church. 

I would like to tell you that when I got to church, everything was wonderful.   No, I thought I had passed my test, but this test was not quite over....to be continued....