Monday, May 7, 2012

Mommy Mess Up

Mommies mess up.

Joe, my nine year old son, had a field trip a week ago and I went with him.  He thought we had decided I would definitely pick him up after the bus dropped him back off at school.  It wasn't definitive to me.  It was, though, to him.

I drove in my car behind the bus he was in and we arrived back to the school at about 1:50 pm. 

Hmmm.....I could go home for a little while before picking up the kids and have 45 minutes of quiet and peace.  (Quiet is hard to come by with three kids at home!)

So, I did not pick up Joe.  I went home and thoroughly enjoyed my 30 to 45 minutes of nothingness.  Can any of you with kids relate?  Awww....just 30 minutes of nothing.

About 2:40, I went to get Joe, Luke and Sarah.  To my surprise, I found a teary-eyed Joe entering the van.

"Mommy, where were you?  I waited in the hallway with my backpack for 30 minutes.  I thought you were coming to get me."

As you can imagine, my heart sank.

"You did?  I am so sorry, I didn't know you thought I was definitely picking you up?  I thought you might want to stay and play outside with your friends."

Joe then said , "No, I stayed inside because I thought you were coming."  

 Did I say I was coming?  I cannot say for sure, but one thing was sure...he thought I was. 

I felt terrible.  Again, I apologized, "I am so sorry, I should have come to get you."

In my mind, it was a misunderstanding.  In his mind, a promise had been broken.

This was not a time to disagree with him and tell him why he was wrong.  This was not a time to justify why I didn't pick him up.  This was a time to make things right with my son.

All I could imagine was him standing in the hallway alone for 30 minutes waiting......while I was doing my nothing.  

"I am so sorry, I should have come to get you? Mommies mess up sometimes, and I messed up. Will you forgive me?"

Confess your faults one to another.  James 5: 16  

James is referring to confessing your fault to the one you have wronged.  (Just a side note: He is not condoning the confessing of all sins publicly without discretion. )
Therefore if you bring your gift to the alter, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the alter, and go your way.  First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.  Matthew 5:23-24

I wronged Joe.  If left unaddressed, that situation could have torn a heart string out of socket leaving our relationship damaged.  Our relationship needed reconciliation.  I love my son too much to allow a heart string to be broken.

"Yes, I forgive you, Mommy."

But, I wanted to double make sure all was well.

Our Pastor recently did a series on "favor" and how to have "favor with God and man" (Luke 2:52).

Fresh on my mind, I recalled that one way to increase favor is gift giving (Proverbs 21:14, Prov 18:16).  

I explained, "Joe, I feel really bad about what happened.  How would  you like to go out for ice cream, just you and me?"  He lit up with smiles...and nodded.

There is power in asking for forgiveness....... and a little ice cream doesn't hurt either. : )

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