White Crosses

Engraved in my memory is a vision forever imprinted in my mind...  White crosses. 

I was nineteen, a sophomore in college at the University of Illinois.  Wounded. Broken. Depressed. Hopeless.  I was angry at myself.  Angry at life.  Angry at people.  Angry at God.

The dogwood trees were blooming, shouting new life for all who passed.  The white blossoms sprinkled the blanket of emerald grass.  Squirrels scurried up and down the trees gathering nuts.  Spring bursted with life.

However, all I saw was death.

I saw the crosses from a distance and as I passed by I read a sign.  The sign said,

"Each cross represents the death of 1 million babies aborted."  

There was a sweet college student by the white crosses handing out brochures.  She was only doing what she felt was best.  She was only taking a stand for life.  She didn't know I was wounded, broken, depressed, and hopeless.   Those crosses imprinted in my mind, burned a hole in my wounded heart that day.  HOW DARE THEY!  

How dare they put up those crosses!  How dare they make a marker for a grave that was never dug!  How dare they make this statement that with abortion there would be one dead, in need of a tombstone, in need of a white cross. Don't they know!  Don't they know the pain this causes?  Don't they care?  They don't know what I have been through.  They don't understand my pain. 

Lord, forgive me.  I am sure that sweet little girl by the crosses didn't know what hit her.  I spewed out all my hurt, all my pain, all my anger on that poor sweet innocent girl.  Then, I ran and cried all the way back to my dorm.  Broken. Wounded.  Depressed. Hopeless.  

Unleashing my anger on that girl didn't stop the bleeding.  It didn't heal my pain.  I was hemorrhaging on the inside, bruised by my own affliction.  Those white crosses on that field of green revealed the deadness in me and my need for the Cross of Jesus, the only one who could heal my wounds and free me from the tormenting chains of shame, guilt, and anger.  

Yesterday, January 20th was Sanctity of Life Sunday.  Perhaps you passed by some white crosses yesterday. 

Anytime abortion is addressed, it can cause people to get defensive or squirmy or angry.  Abortion is a polarizing topic.  My intent is not to polarize, but inform from the view of one who has had an abortion.

Women who have had abortions can often feel stuck in the middle of two groups.  Pro-choicers do not want to hear about post-abortive women's heartache and hurt due to their abortion.   Pro-lifers can be well-intended, although non-empathetic at times, disregarding the feelings of women who have had an abortion.  This is not true of everyone in either group, but rather a generality.  

Yes, there is a baby involved here too.  And people should be educated and informed about the truth regarding life and abortion.  With today's technology, we know life begins at conception.  We know that a baby's heart beats by day 22.  We know babies have hands, feet, fingers, and toes at 10 weeks (many abortions occur at 10 weeks).  All this is true and there are many more scientific facts to support that a fetus is indeed a human being.  

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you."  Jeremiah 1:5 

However, I want to be a voice not only for the babies but for the women who grieve over them.  Many women were deceived into believing it was only a choice.  Many women bought the lie it was only a glob of tissue or cells.  

If you know anything about my story, you know I have had an abortion and I am now pro-life. If you do not know my story, you can read it here.   

However, I have to tell you, I still flinch at the site of white crosses.  I know well-intended pro-lifers are just  making a stand for life with a visual to represent the 54 million babies aborted since Roe Vs Wade.  They don't realize that cross is a stake driven into the already wounded heart of a post-abortive woman.  As much as their baby is in need of a white cross, they need the Cross.  Women need to know that the sprinkling of Jesus's blood covers this sin and makes them as white as the Dogwood blossoms sprinkling the ground that day.

"Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow."  Isaiah 1:18

Jesus loves you.  He forgives you.  Forgive yourself.  Receive His forgiveness.  Receive His love.  Trade in the white cross symbolizing death for THE CROSS knowing that He gives you NEW LIFE in Him. 

If you are a woman who has had an abortion, I want to encourage you to go to www.godeeperstill.org and find complete healing in the arms of our Savior Jesus.  There are groups of people who care about your healing.  You are also welcome to contact me.  I would love to pray with you and minister to you.  

With much love,

Open My Eyes

"Lord, I pray, open [my] eyes that [I] may see."  2 Kings 6:17

There are constantly things all around us we are not able to see.  God is at work and we often are unaware of the unseen forces armed up for battle on our behalf.  

In Second Kings chapter six, the king of Syria was wondering how in the world Israel kept knowing his battle plans.  This is para-phrasing, but the king basically asks, "Is there a mole?  Is there a spy in my camp telling the Isralites what we are gong to do next?"  No.  

"And one of his servants said, 'None, my lord, O king, but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom.'"  2 Kings 6:12

Notice, Elisha wasn't at the king's door with his ear up against a cup!  He was in Israel!  Elisha knew things he could not have possibly known any other way except by the power of God.  

Not only could Elisha hear things supernaturally, he saw things supernaturally as well.  

Once the king of Syria realized the problem was Elisha, he sent an army out to stop him.  

"And when the servant of the man of God arose early and went out, there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots.  And his servant said to him, 'Alas, master!  What shall we do?'"  2 Kings 6:15

His servant seems somewhat alarmed.  Who wouldn't be with an army surrounding you?  Elisha, that's who.

"So he answered, 'Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.'"  2 Kings 6:16 

I wonder what the servant thought when Elisha said the above.  Umm....I know my math might be rusty, but there are only 2 of us and they have an army!?

Elisha saw what his servant and the army could not see.  He saw the army of the Lord around Him.  He saw God's heavenly angelic forces standing in a battle stance prepared to fight.  

Elisha saw through heavenly eyes.  

"And Elisha prayed, and said, 'Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.' Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw.  And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."  2 King 6:17

Then, Elisha asked the Lord to strike the Syrians with blindness.  When the Syrians came down to Elisha, he spoke in Jedi Knight fashion, "'This is not the way, nor is this the city.  Follow me, and I will bring you to the man whom you seek.'  But he led them to Samaria." 

Somehow, I just cannot help but picture Elisha with a hood over his head and waving his hand in front of the Syrians eyes when he says "This is not the way, nor is this the city."  I am not the man you are looking for. 

I am sorry, that picture just makes me laugh!  {smile}  God is so funny!  

Elisha had the power of God on the inside of Him.  This power gave him incredible insight to see the unseen and know the unknown.  WE HAVE THAT SAME POWER on the inside of us!!!  

When you receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside of you.  The Holy Spirit is God inside of us! (2 Peter 1: 3-4, Acts 1:8)

In Ephesians 1: 17-23, Paul instructs us to pray:

 "The God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 

 the eyes of our understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 

and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places,

far above any principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come, 

and He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all."

WOW!  I am overcome right now with His Holy presence.  If you truly read this and soak in the Words written, you will be amazed at what God is saying.  We have the same power inside of us and available to us that raised Jesus from the dead! 

The power of the Holy Spirit inside of us is more powerful than any adversary you are facing.  The power inside of us is more powerful than any enemy.  The powers of darkness are no match for our God! 

"He put all things under His feet."  It is all under His feet, and we are His body.  He fills us with Him.  It is under our feet.  Elisha knew what we need to know.  We are not alone.  We have a heavenly army ready at a moments notice to fight for us! 

What is surrounding you today?  Cancer.  Sickness.  Disease.  Broken relationships.  Marriage issues.  Rebellious children.  Money issues.  Debt.  Work place drama.  Alcohol and drug addiction. Unemployment. Depression.

Or perhaps your battle is more internal?  Self-doubt. Insecurity.  Fear.  Fear of failure. Fear of success.  

His power is available to you for you to overcome any enemy.   

Elisha was just a man like any other man.  Pray for your spiritual eyes to be opened.   Pray for the eyes of your understanding to be enlightened.  God promises to answer.  He will reveal to you what you need to know.  He will show you things unseen and make them seen. 

There is a heavenly army just waiting to come to your aid and fight for you!   You are not alone and the battle is not yours, but God's. 

Oh Lord, open our eyes that we may see.    

    

Related posts:  My Bubble, Foggy Sunglasses

   

 

Mary Had a Little Lamb

"Mary had a little lamb.  Whose fleece was white as snow.  

And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.  

It followed her to school one day, which was against the rules.  

It made the children laugh and play to see a lamb at school."

I am sure you are all familiar with this children's nursery rhyme.   Recently, my ten year old son, Joe, shared some incite about this child's rhyme.  He said, "You know, Mary is Jesus' mom and Jesus is the lamb of God, so this nursery rhyme is about Jesus."

I had never thought of it before, but it is very true.  Maybe this is common knowledge and I am the only one left out of the loop, but I thought this revelation was inspired with wisdom.

"Mary had a little lamb."

Mary is the mother of Jesus, the Lamb of God.

"Whose fleece was white as snow." 

Jesus is the prefect sinless Lamb of God.  He is white as snow.  This Lamb takes away the sins of the world and makes us white as snow.

"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are red as crimson, they shall be as wool."  Isaiah 1:18

"And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go."

Jesus promises to never leave us nor forsake us.  He is always with us, everywhere we go, through every circumstance.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."  Heb 13:5

"It followed her to school one day, which was against the rules."

Like mentioned above, God promises to never leave us.  As Christians, God will follow us wherever we go, even to school.

Sadly, our country has tried to push Jesus out of our public schools.  It is against the rules for children to bring their Bibles, pray in school, or talk about Jesus.  Regrettably, God is not welcome in our public schools.  He is a gentleman and will not force His way into our lives.  He may gently nudge us, but he never forces us.  He waits to be invited.  However, as long as there are Christians in school who invite Him into their lives, He will follow them even to places He is supposedly not allowed!  After all, He is God!

"It made the children laugh and play to see a lamb at school."  

I don't understand why God is so hated.  Why is it against the rules for the Lamb of God to be in school?  God is love.  Jesus brings us joy and peace.  Life with Him is filled with laughter.  Would it be so bad to have more playing and laughter at school?

We have seen the results of not allowing Him in school: lower standards of education, increase in teen pregnancies and drop outs, child abuse, drug use, crime, guns, and shootings.

My heart is still grieving over the recent tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary.  Our prayers continue to be with those families.

Our public schools are getting worse and worse.  A positive change would be to implement putting Him back into the schools and observe what happens. 

I spoke with a child recently who asked me what it meant to "pray".  She was six years old and had never prayed.

Mary had a little Lamb who came to take away the sins of the world.  This Lamb promises to never leave us and goes with us wherever we go.  He fills our hearts with laughter and playful joy.

Kids need the love of Jesus.  They need to know they have a Savior who loves them.  Kids these days have so much instability in their homes.  They need the assurance of a heavenly Father who will always listen when they talk to Him in prayer.  Why it is against the rules? 

Forgive them Father, they know not what they are doing.  Father, forgive our country for pushing you out of our young people's lives.  Forgive us for not teaching them about you and your love.  Forgive us for not teaching each one of them that they are Your special creation.  Forgive us for, in the name of tolerance and political correctness, we have made it against the rules to talk about you and to you.  We need you, Lord.  We need you to heal our land.  I pray for You to come into our schools and heal our schools, heal our children, heal our country.  We need you dear Lord.  Every single child in our country needs to know who You are and that You love and care about them.  We continue to pray for healing and comfort for the families of Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Oh Lord, protect our children.  I pray the hearts of the people of our country to be turned towards You.  We need you, we need Mary's Lamb.  In Jesus' Name, Amen. 

Anything But That

Today we are going to take a glance at 2 Kings 5.  2 Kings is probably not the book you most often go to during your quiet time, at least it isn't the book I most frequent.  However, there are priceless nuggets of gold in 2 Kings.

I want to encourage you to read all of 2 Kings 5, it is all good!  For the sake of time, I am going to just give some quick background on the star of our story, Naaman. 

"Now Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, WAS A GREAT AND HONORABLE man in the eyes of his master, because by him THE LORD had given victory to Syria.  He was also a MIGHTY MAN OF VALOR, but A LEPER." 2 Kings 5: 1

It is also worth noting that Naaman's sickness was not due to sin.  He is called a "mighty man of valor" and "great and honorable".

He must have been a good man, for a servant of his wife desires to help him. 

"Then she (the servant) said to her mistress, 'If only my master were with the prophet who is in Samaria!  For he would heal him of his leprosy.'" 2 King 5: 3 parentheses added

Next, Naaman goes to his boss, the king of Syria, and tells him what the servant girl said to his wife.  The king tells him to go to the prophet.  Naaman then travels to see Elisha, the prophet. When the prophet hears Naaman has come to be healed, he does the following:

"Elisha sent a messenger to him saying, 'Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall be clean.'"  2 Kings 5: 10

Seems simple enough, just go wash in the river.  After all, he had traveled all that way with faith in his heart to be healed.  Nothing hard, just go wash.

"But, Naaman became furious, and went away and said, 'Indeed, I said to myself, He will surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place, and heal the leprosy. Are not the Abanah and the Pharapar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel?  Could I not be washed in them and be clean?' So he turned and went away in a rage."  2 Kings 5: 12

Naaman had his own idea on how God should heal him.  He no doubt had faith that God would heal him, but He just thought He knew how it would happen.

Sometimes, we have an idea in our minds how God should do things.  We think we know how He should do something and we may even get impatient or angry when His plan doesn't line up with our thinking.

Naaman must have been a very good man because again, one of his servants stepped in to help him.

"And his servant came near and spoke to him, and said, 'My father, if the prophet had told you to do something great, would you not have done it?  How much more then, when he says to you, 'Wash and be clean.' So he went down and dipped seven times in the Jordan River, according to the saying of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean." 2 Kings 5: 13

Naaman almost allowed pride and disobedience to hinder a tremendous blessing from God. 

How about you?  What is the Jordan River in your life?  Is there something God is asking you to do that seems ridiculous to you?  Is there anything to where you think, "Yes, Lord, I will do anything you ask...but, just not that."?

I have something and I am VERY embarrassed to admit it to all of you. {Deep Breath} Ok, here it is...

I REALLY like Diet Coke.  I know it is silly.  Every once in awhile I get a prompting from the Lord to give it up and I haven't been able to do it.  I have tried and failed and tried and failed.  It just seems ridiculous to me.  I know, it really does sound silly.  Why Lord?  Why do I have to give up Diet Coke?

Ask me to sell everything and move to China.  Ask me to go on a month long mission trip.  Ask me to quit my job and do Bible studies full time.  Ask me to do anything, but don't ask me to give up my Diet Coke! 

Well, I heard the Lord say to me, "Sue, if giving up Diet Coke is the one thing you won't do for me, that is the very thing you must do."  Again, I am very embarrassed by this and I hope you don't think less of me. 

I am now on a thirty day fast of Diet Coke.  I am currently on Day 3 and so far so good.

What God asks us to do may not make sense to us at times.  That is ok.  He doesn't promise that it will be logical, he just tells us to obey.  Sometimes he doesn't require us to give up things forever, He just wants to see if we will be obedient (e.g. Abraham and Isaac).

Again, I ask you.  Is there something God wants you to do?  Obey Him.  What if Naaman wouldn't have obeyed God and washed in the Jordan?  God rewards obedience.  

"Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people.  And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you."  Jeremiah 7:23

Oh dear Heavenly Father, how we want to obey You.   Forgive us when we have looked to our own selves and thought we knew better than You.  Forgive us for areas where we have not been obedient to you out of pride, stubbornness, or just wanting to have our own way.  Please help us to identify if there is anything we are unwilling to surrender to You.  Please help us identify if there is a Jordan River in our lives. Help us to lay it down at Your sweet feet, oh Jesus. Search our hearts oh God, and renew a right Spirit within us. Help us to surrender all to You. We don't want to miss out on the blessings You have for us.  Help us, oh Lord.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.   

Happy NEWNESS Year

Happy New Year!!  I hope you had a wonderful and merry Christmas celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus!  I haven't been online much for the past couple of weeks.  We were visiting family up in Illinois and Missouri.  We enjoyed our time with family, and I hope you were able to spend time with family during the holiday season.

We returned home yesterday, just in time for the New Year. 

Every New Years is a time when people reflect over the past year and ponder new beginnings for the present and future. 

"Out with the old and in with the new!" 

There is something about the changing of the dates that sparks in us aspirations to change as well.  We could start anytime of the year with new goals, but the New Year is when the desire heightens. 

God is into doing new things also.

"Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old. 
Behold, I will do a new thing, 
Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness 
And rivers in the desert."  Isaiah 43:18-19

Do you feel like you have been lost in a wilderness?  God says He will build you a road.  Do you feel dry and dusty in your relationship with God? Or perhaps it is in your marriage relationship.  God says He will make a river of Living Water in the desert. 

I pray for 2013 to be a year of NEWNESS for you.

Newness in your relationship with the Lord.  Newness in your relationship with your spouse or other loved ones.  Newness in your job or career.  Newness in opportunities.  Newness in health and fitness.  Newness in____________.  (You can fill in the blank with whatever you need made new--What new thing do you need the Lord to do in your life?)

Give 2013 to the Lord.  You can trust Him to make all things new (Rev 21:5). 

Happy NEWNESS Year to you!!!