A couple months back I was struggling with whether I should continue writing. God had led me to start this blog and God had led me to sign up for the She Speaks conference. Deep inside of me I knew those two truths, however, I was wrestling with insecurity.
One day when it seemed my insecurities might end up winning, I read this in my Beth Moore devotional, "Believing God."
“God will put you in a position to wrestle with your identity and choose whom you believe: Him or you.” -Beth Moore
This one statement rocked my world. It consumed my thoughts. Who am I going to believe? Am I going to let my insecurities and fears win the wrestling match? If God is for me, who can be against me? God knew I needed encouragement and He would use this statement to frame the outline of my talk I would give to my peer evaluation group at She Speaks. God gave me this talk to give so every time I practiced it, it would be a reminded to believe Him.
Below is basically the talk God gave me to share:
A couple months back we went to Blizzard Beach, which is a Disney Water Park. At the park, there is a pool with scattered white glacier-like floats in the water. There are ropes overhead for the kids to hold onto as they walk across the water on the scattered floats.
We have a little 4 year old girl named Sarah who wanted to try to walk across the water. The only problem was that she could barely reach the ropes to hold onto as she went across. Her heart pounded as she looked at the unsteady floats and icy water underneath. I encouraging her to try and reassured her I would be right there to help her get across the water.
She was put in a position where she would have to choose who she would believe, her fear of falling or her faith in me to help her get across the water.
Would she have faith to go across or would she let her fears keep her by the side of the pool?
I relate to Sarah, we all can relate to Sarah. Sarah’s comfort zone was by the side of the pool. I also like sitting by the side of the pool, only my side of the pool was sitting in the crowd. The podium is my water. God was asking me to walk across the water, only I didn't see any floats and ropes to help me get across. But of course, I have something much better….the Holy Spirit.
God had put me in a position in which I had to wrestle with my identity. I had to make a choice on who I was going to believe. Would I believe I am who God says I am? Would I believe His Word and in His faithfulness? After all, it isn’t really about me, it is about Him and what He wants to do.
There are many times in life when God will put you in a position where you are forced to wrestle with your identity. At those times, you must choose who you will believe. Are you going to believe God or yourself? Are you going to believe your circumstances or any lies Satan has tried to feed your thoughts regarding your circumstances or yourself?
Are you sitting by the side of the pool today? What is your “water” that you need to walk across?
Are you going to believe the enemy, you or the Lord your God?
Let’s go to Matthew 14:25-31 to see a story in the bible of another person who walked across the water and was forced to choose who he would believe, him, his circumstances, or his God. It is a familiar story.
v. 25 Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. v.26 and when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled saying, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out for fear. V. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them saying “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” (In God’s Word, He says “Do not be afraid or do not fear 217 times, He really does not want us to fear)
V. 28 And peter answered Him and said Lord, “If it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” V.29 So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. (We have to give Peter major points, now that is showing some super faith. He definitely didn’t stay by the side of the pool and he didn’t even have floats or ropes)
V. 30 But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; (see Peter looked at his circumstances and his abilities instead of believing the Lord and keeping his eyes on Him. Jesus wouldn’t have asked him to come and then just let him fall)
and beginning to sink he cried out, saying “Lord, save me!” v. 31 And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him (God will not let us fall!)
and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Jesus was saying, "Why did you choose to believe yourself and your circumstances rather then Me?")
In whatever God asks you to do, He is always there to guide you, to encourage you, and to lift you up. He has already given you everything you need to accomplish His purpose and His will. His ability is in you, you just have to operate in it. He puts seeds of greatness in you!
Peter got out of the boat, which is a great first step, but he could have made it all the way to Jesus. If he would have kept his eyes on Jesus, he would have made it!
Jesus is the Word made flesh, so we must keep your eyes on the Word of God if we are going to make it across the water.
DO NOT live life by the side of the pool! Jump in and start walking across the water by faith. Just like I wanted my daughter to make it across the water that day, God wants His sons and daughters to make it across the water. God wants YOU to make it across the water.
Perhaps you are thinking, "But, you don't know what I've been through, you don't know how hard it is to jump in the pool." Yes I do, yes I do. I am no stranger to struggle. Lord knows I have wrested with my identity in Him. I have struggled with fear of rejection, fear of failure, and bondages of shame, and guilt due to past sin. I know how difficult it can be to jump in the water, but when we know how much the Lord loves us, it is so much easier to believe Him and that He has a good plan for us. We can be secure in His love for us, and as a result, confident in our calling, and peaceful in our circumstances as we trust Him and His Word.
Just like Peter, we must keep our eyes on Jesus, the Word made flesh.
My little daughter, Sarah, did not stay by the side of the pool that day, she made it across the water. And I am here today talking to you, so I also made it across the water, Praise the Lord!
DO NOT spend another minute by the side of the pool, jump in by faith and keep your eyes on the Word. He is faithful. God wants you to make it across the water.
The End. (I didn't actually say "The End") : )
So, there it is. That is what the Lord laid on my heart. He is doing a work in me, a work which I am grateful for. Just like when we go to the hair salon to get a new do and we are excited to see the final outcome, it is always exciting when God starts working on removing something in my life that needs cut off.
In this season, my new do is freedom from self-doubt and I am thankful for the makeover! What does God want to do in your life? What causes your insecurities? Surrender it to Him and let Him give you a makeover, the outcome will be freedom!