My heart pounded as I read the words on the page. A friend had recommended the book and I reluctantly read it. As I read it I knew the Lord had led me to read this book. I won't mention the book because it was controversial and there are still some parts of it that make me squirm in my seat.
However, there was a part of this book where the Lord had my utmost attention. In this book, a girl had died and went to heaven and her father was able to see her in heaven through a vision. My composure broke as I read this scene. Out of seemingly nowhere tears poured down my cheeks.
"I am so sorry", I softly whispered under welts of tears.
I repeated these words again and again until my tears turned to heavy sobs, the kind where you can barely breath the pain is so intense.
His voice gently crumpled me to my knees. He spoke, "It's ok."
I argued with the Lord. "No, it's not. It's not ok!"
Yes, I know I shouldn't argue with God, but that day He seemed so wrong in what He was saying.
Again, He comforted, "It's ok."
Again, I argued, "No, it's not ok. How can you say 'It's ok'? I had an abortion. I took my baby's life. It's not ok!"
This exchange went back and forth a few times before the Lord gently and patiently spoke these loving words, "Sue, do you think you could have been a better parent than Me?"
Quietly with eyes down, I responded, "No, of course not."
Again I heard, "It's ok."
The extent of God's grace and love will forever elude me. My mind cannot comprehend the depth of His love, grace and forgiveness. It is too wonderful for me! All I know is that it is in the quietness of His presence that I have found redemption.
His whispers heal the deep and vast crevices of our hearts with His unfailing love.
"[I pray] that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height--to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19
Father, your love is too wonderful for us to comprehend. Your forgiveness and grace is too marvelous for words. Lord, I ask for you to heal the deep areas of our hearts. I ask for ears to hear your voice as you speak sweet whispers of love. That you would bind the broken-hearted and set the captives free. In Jesus' Name, Amen.